I want to run away, but I don't want to leave the people Ive met

[Guest]

The past 5 years that my mom married my stepdad have been the worst 5 years of my life. We moved and I lost all my friends I don't have family here. My mother gets mad over the smallest things and puts so much pressure on me to get into a good college. My life living here in this new state hasn't been that bad, but I can say that thanks to my parents, I've met some of the most amazing people that I have ever seen. Sometimes she forces me to do things that I don't want to do, and when it comes to something I want to do she won't let me do it.

She's so picky about who I hang around and who I talk to, I don't have many friends in school so when she told me that she doesn't want me hanging out with them anymore, I think that's what did it for me.

I want to be able to go outside and explore different things but she's holding me back from the things I want to do, I'll explain to her that I found a new interest and she never cares.
Because I got mad and fed up I stood outside for 2 hours thinking about leaving and never coming back, But the only thing I could think about was all the people I'd met and the fact that I would never see them again/

when I came back inside my stepdad got so mad at me for disrespecting my mother that he choked me and threw me to the floor. I don't feel the same around him anymore.
Whenever I try to vent to someone she always tells me that no one cares about me and that I shouldn't.
And this is all because I feel trapped inside a cage.

I know that mine isn't as bad but I don't have anyone to talk to.

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,
Thank you for reaching out to NRS. It takes a lot of bravery to ask for help and we are glad that you did. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time at home right and are torn between the amazing friends that you have met, but also sounds like home is no longer a safe, loving, and accepting place to stay. We are very sorry to hear that you were physically assaulted by your stepfather—that is NOT right. You deserve to feel safe and respected at all times and to have the ability to be you without any fear. To feel trapped inside a cage must feel truly horrible and we are here for you.

Is there any way for you to reduce your time spent at home? Perhaps join an afterschool program, a sports team, school study club, or even find a job. You shared that your mom has placed pressure for you to get into a good college, so perhaps “fun” extracurriculars may not be an option or approved by her, but perhaps you could tutor students at your school to reduce the amount of time you have to be at home. We realize it’s not ideal, but its an option to consider.

Perhaps look into if there is a school guidance counselor at school that you feel comfortable speaking with—someone that you could meet weekly to share with safe confidentiality about what life is like for you. Often just sharing with someone who is safe, in a safe place, can make us feel a little more supported.

Another option is looking into emancipation laws in your state. Emancipation is a law where a minor (meaning someone under the age of 18 years old) can be considered an adult if he or she is able to prove that they can financially support themselves, are legally married, or are active in the military. We are not experts in this legal area, but often the process may take a few months and you will need to go before a judge to explain your case. A resource that may be helpful in answering questions related to this is the National Center for Youth Law Agency at (510) 835-8098 (www.youthlaw.org/).

You can also consider calling us here at NRS or reach out to a school guidance counselor to file an abuse report at Child Protective Services (CPS) if you feel that is something you need to do or simply discuss with someone. It is not right to be physically hurt by a stepparent. We want to mention it because you deserve to have some options for you to make that is best for you.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). Your safety as utmost priority (if you ever feel unsafe, you can text the word “safe” to 4HELP (44357) to receive a message of the closet Safe Place to go.

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

Please be safe,
NRS