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I want to go live with my dad but im not sure how to tell my mom

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  • I want to go live with my dad but im not sure how to tell my mom

    I am 14 years old and I have chronic depression and am going to therapy for it but i feel like the cause is because of the people in my household. It started when I was around 11 years old because thats when my aunt died and she was like a best friend to me. We used to hang out all of the time and talk about our problems and she was basically my therapist and I had so many secrets with her and she had lots of secrets with me. But when she died I would cry and cry and cry everyday in the shower and i had the showers would take a while. My step dad and my mom would think I was masturbating in the shower and thats what I played it off as so that they wouldnt have to worry about me and spend more money on me becuase we are already not that financially stable and i didnt want her to spend more money to fix me. Shortly after that happened and I decided to "man up" and stop crying about everything, my dog died and I had been with her for 10 years and we would play all of the time so that hit me equally as hard as the death of my aunt. But i would still not cry and compress my feelings and I would take my feelings out on others at school and argue with other students and other teachers and just anybody that i could communicate to and everybody thaought that i was just a bad person. but i didnt tell anybody outside of school. But also at home my stepdad, mom, and older sister would take their feelings out on me and call me names, make fun of evey mistake i did, told me to calm down when i actually started to enjoy myself, told me to "stop" because i was being to rough or to loud, tell me to go to my room and just stay there. And every single time i would leave to my room I would rip posters off of the wall, punch my desk and just hit anything i could. but also every time i would leave and just get angry, i would hear them all laughing and having a good time. So i just stay in my room and cry and my family just says that "its just a phase" or "hes just moody" or "It'll go away" but the only way that it would go away is if I go with people that I feel that actually love me, and every time i go to my dads, we never argue, we never fight, i have a good time, i dont think about anything else and im just generally really happy with my cousins and family on my dads side. but i only get to experience that once a week because hes to busy working to support a family that doesnt really love him and think hes stupid, my family always talks bad about him and calls him stupid for being a christian but all of those words equally hurt me because im a christian and my dad is my role model. But i feel like im in a prison because i dont know how to tell my mom and my little sister that i want to leave because i feel like the only person that loves me is my little sister but the problem is that shes only 4, so if i leave it would equally break her or she wouldnt understand why im leaving and think that i dont lover her anymore and she would just start hating me. I also read some articles online that i can only leave when im 16. But i dont feel like i can last 2 more years and I feel like im at my limit and i just want to escape and runaway to my father. Please help me and give me some answers.

  • #2
    Hi there,

    We are so sorry to hear you are going through a tough situation. It is never easy to lose someone close to you. Also, nobody should be treated the way you are being treated. You are dealing with a lot of stress and deserve to have people who are there to listen. Just know that NRS is here for you. Going to live with your dad would likely depend on the custody arrangement between your dad and your mom. While we are not legal experts, you would likely need your mom’s permission to stay with your dad for a longer period of time. Unfortunately, if you do go without her permission, she could file what is called a runaway report. This could result in your dad getting in trouble and potentially impact the current arrangement. Typically the age of majority, where you can leave without permission, is 18 (you can look at this for your specific state - https://sexetc.org/action-center/sex-in-the-states/). One thing that you could consider trying is sitting down with your mom and explaining how you’re feeling. Sometimes it can be helpful to be open with family, so they can understand the challenges you are facing. If you don’t feel comfortable talking with your mom, you could consider talking with others like your dad, a friend, or potentially even someone at school or church.


    If you would like to discuss these options, we are here to help at NRS. We have a hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) to talk through options or you can chat with us on our website (https://www.1800runaway.org/). Both are available 24/7. In the meantime, we do want to offer up some other resources. In addition to our own line, some other organizations like crisistextline.org have a chatline and are used to talking with people going through very similar situations to your own. Also, if you are ever feeling unsafe at home, another organization (https://www.nationalsafeplace.org/) is available to assist with that as well potentially.


    Best of luck,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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