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  • I don't know what to do anymore

    Hi, I'm new to this so try to stay with me as far back as I can remember my mom was been a party mom she had me young so ig she's trying to get her teen years back idk anyways since she had me young my dad kinda got stuck staying with her and they had 3 other kids and of course with them doing drugs and hanging out in gangs I was left to watch my sisters I learned to cook and clean I got use to not having parents being involved in school my and my sister's got by the only thing our parents did for us was barely meet the requirements of raising children me and my sister's were constantly going without and to top it all off my parents would fight 24/7 no one else in the family cared because it was normal in our family to fight and let the kids fend for themselves so it was me against them so for years I made do with what I had I raised my sister's and dealt with the problems as they came I got good grades and tried to help my sister's as much as I could with projects and stuff like that I fell in love with music it was my only comfort as I headed into 5th grade I started hanging out with other kids that had problems like me but they had different ways to cope unhealthy ways and idk why and I don't even remember how it started but I soon started to hurt myself at first it was barely breaking the skin but it got worse and worse my mom caught me doing it in the earlier stages around a year after my mom and dad spilt apart she got mad and the next day joked about it like it was a funny memory from years ago my dad was still making empty promises to get better so I held on to those I only gave up on them a few weeks ago sometimes I wish he did get better just so he could take me away from this house my mom's always angry she acts like my existence and needs are a inconvenience to her it hurts alot sometimes I try not to cry but I can't help it around a year ago I finally got out of my household I was getting better but a few days ago I was forced to go home again so here I am sitting at my mom's bf house waiting for her to allow me to eat I don't know what to do anymore I've done everything the signs tell me to do I reached out and got help but the system gave me right back I want to run away but what about my sister's and I'm only 14 where would I go? Sorry this was such a mess ig it's just a rlly big rant but I feel better getting it off my chest pls give me some advice :/

  • #2
    Originally posted by Guest View Post
    Hi, I'm new to this so try to stay with me as far back as I can remember my mom was been a party mom she had me young so ig she's trying to get her teen years back idk anyways since she had me young my dad kinda got stuck staying with her and they had 3 other kids and of course with them doing drugs and hanging out in gangs I was left to watch my sisters I learned to cook and clean I got use to not having parents being involved in school my and my sister's got by the only thing our parents did for us was barely meet the requirements of raising children me and my sister's were constantly going without and to top it all off my parents would fight 24/7 no one else in the family cared because it was normal in our family to fight and let the kids fend for themselves so it was me against them so for years I made do with what I had I raised my sister's and dealt with the problems as they came I got good grades and tried to help my sister's as much as I could with projects and stuff like that I fell in love with music it was my only comfort as I headed into 5th grade I started hanging out with other kids that had problems like me but they had different ways to cope unhealthy ways and idk why and I don't even remember how it started but I soon started to hurt myself at first it was barely breaking the skin but it got worse and worse my mom caught me doing it in the earlier stages around a year after my mom and dad spilt apart she got mad and the next day joked about it like it was a funny memory from years ago my dad was still making empty promises to get better so I held on to those I only gave up on them a few weeks ago sometimes I wish he did get better just so he could take me away from this house my mom's always angry she acts like my existence and needs are a inconvenience to her it hurts alot sometimes I try not to cry but I can't help it around a year ago I finally got out of my household I was getting better but a few days ago I was forced to go home again so here I am sitting at my mom's bf house waiting for her to allow me to eat I don't know what to do anymore I've done everything the signs tell me to do I reached out and got help but the system gave me right back I want to run away but what about my sister's and I'm only 14 where would I go? Sorry this was such a mess ig it's just a rlly big rant but I feel better getting it off my chest pls give me some advice :/
    We're really glad you reached out to us, and there's truly no need to apologize. You've expressed your situation very deeply, and all the information you gave helps us understand what you're going through.

    It sounds like you have been in a situation for a long time that has been emotionally exhausting and inconsistent, if not abusive. You mentioned wanting to cry and feeling like an inconvenience-- while that is not a fun way to feel, it is very valid that you are feeling that way. Your experience matters, and the way that you're feeling is important.

    You mentioned your parents partying, fighting, and making you responsible for caring for your siblings. You also mentioned that things were better for a while but were forced to go back home. It sounds like you briefly had a better experience, but were unfortunately forced to go back to an environment where you do not feel emotionally comfortable, or set up to thrive. That is extremely frustrating, and not what you deserve.

    Running away can be challenging, but we can discuss it more if you would like. In many cases it can result in getting returned home within a few days, and it can bring on its own set of stressors. If you decide you need to do so, it can be helpful to have a thorough plan including where you will go, how long you will stay there, who you will contact for support, and how you will support yourself.

    It also sounds like you have a lot on your plate, and haven't had a lot of emotional support from others, or healthy outlets. If possible, it might be beneficial to speak with a counselor at your school if you have one; you deserve someone who will be on your side and help you vent.

    You can contact us again to work through any of this, whether it means talking through a solution, or just having someone who will listen. You can live chat us at 1800runaway.org from a computer or smart phone any time, or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You do not have to deal with this alone.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
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