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I think my dad is toxic/abusive.

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  • I think my dad is toxic/abusive.

    Backstory: Im 13 and ive been having this thought for a long time now. I live with my dad and I go to my moms every other weekend. I used to live at my moms and she was always made out as the bad guy, so I moved to my dads 4 years ago. In the last year my dad has been getting very toxic. I didn't know where the line of abusive was at, so I wasn't sure if he was being abusive or if I was being over dramatic like he said I was. I did some research on different kinds of abuse, specifically verbal/mental. My dad does things like criticize what I like/wear, tell me im being over dramatic, flip the story and make it about him, blame me for the way im treated, he pushes me and and will literally pick me up and carry me to my room and will not let me out, he's even thrown me on my bed before with no mattress on it, just the frame, and he threw me so hard that it broke the bed frame and left a huge bruise. He'll take things like my makeup because he doesn't like that I wear it (mind you he didn't put a single penny into any of my hundreds of dollars or makeup), He'll make little comments to make me feel bad like saying im wearing way too much makeup, he doesn't like my outfit, say the music I listen to is weird, he literally woke me up this morning and his exact words were "get up and do something with your life". He doesnt even let my out of the house without him, and its been like that for more than 6 months. Most of this stuff he'll only really do when im in trouble, but it will go on for months and because of it we get into fights, it gets physical, and sometimes it even ends with HIM calling the cops on ME! (this has happened like 3 times in the past year) Even when im not in trouble though the things like his comments will still happen. I even remember this one day where literally all I said was that I didn't like wearing a hat in softball because if the ball is right above me then I have to look up more because of the bill and the bill is the whole point of the hat, and in his exact words he yelled, "So apparently now you have a disability because you cant life your head?" Another time I told him I needed to go shorts shopping because I literally only had one pair and he told me to ask my grandma (who I see like 2 days or less a month) and when I told him no he started yelling about how im so ungrateful and how nobody takes him shopping twice a year and so I dont have to either. I try to point out the flaws in his arguments but he hates it so he ends up flipping the story and either playing victim, blaming me, or both. Although my mom is very supportive, im in a situation right now and im in a bit of trouble, so if I tell her shes just gonna tell me that im crying to her so that I wont be in trouble. I dont know who else to talk to about this, and I dont know if this crosses the line of abuse of not. Any help would be deeply appreciated.

  • #2
    Hi there,

    We appreciate you reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We recognize the courage and strength that it takes to reach out when you need help, and we are glad that you did. It sounds like you are experiencing various forms of abuse at home, from your dad. We are terribly sorry to hear that you are having to go through this experience and we would like to be of further support for you. Please know that you do not deserve to be treated this way by anyone, under any circumstance. It sounds like your mom is overall supportive and maybe feels like a safe person for you to talk to. We hear you when you say you feel like she might think you are trying to avoid getting in trouble by turning to her. However, this sounds like a much more serious situation than that. There are some resources that we could certainly look into for further assistance and we would like to provide you support during this time. Please feel welcome to contact us through our chat portal, found on www.1800runaway.org or give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We operate 24/7, so you may contact us at any time. This will give us an opportunity to connect with you and look for resources to help you. We also would like to encourage you to call 911 immediately if you feel at risk or in imminent danger. We look for the opportunity to talk further with you.


    Wishing you peace, health, and safety,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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