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I am 20 years old and being controlled by my mothers boyfriend.

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  • I am 20 years old and being controlled by my mothers boyfriend.

    Ever since I moved back in with my mom and her boyfriend about 3 years ago my mother's boyfriend has taken control of my life. He isolates me from family and friends, and always checks up on me making sure I am doing exactly what he wants me to do. There is so much I can say but it is hard for me to explain. What should I do about him?

  • #2
    RE: I am 20 years old and being controlled by my mothers boyfriend. #1

    It’s so important that you are reaching for help, that takes strength and intelligence. It sounds like his behavior is disruptive and causing you distress. This seems overwhelming; it’s normal to feel unsure how to explain or even where to begin. From what you’ve shared, we’re concerned that your mother’s boyfriend’s behavior may be considered emotionally abusive.

    Thus, one route available to you is to file a police report. Unfortunately, controlling behavior is more difficult to prove in the court of law than physically abusive; however, we cannot say what will happen for sure if you make the report. The best way to know for sure would be to ask local police or legal services. Also, many police departments victim/witness services. You can call and ask if they have social workers or victim advocates. Find your local non-emergency police hotline here:

    One national agency that may have useful information is the National Domestic Violence Hotline ( ). Their website has an interactive safety plan, articles about , and a directory of local resources. The hotline itself can be reached via phone (1-800-799-7233), text (“START” to 8878, or online chat through the website.

    Regardless of whether or not it qualifies legally as “abuse” right now, your feelings are valid: you deserve the right to privacy and to live your life freely. If you would like to talk more about the situation, explore these options, or find other resources, we are here. NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance, so if you would like to talk more, please call or chat soon.

    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    Take care,

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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