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my parents make me want to die

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  • my parents make me want to die

    i'm a sophomore in highschool. ever since i was a child, my mom and dad have been incredibly abusive. i haven't really realized it until now. my dad would constantly hit me, punch me, kick me when i was still in elementary. on some occasions, i'd get hit by a flyswatter. i thought once i got older, it would all stop. i also tried my best to be a better child so this wouldnt happen anymore. now that i'm in highschool, theyve been more controllling than ever. they check my phone, and once they find anything (even the most innocent texts), they take it away and ridicule me. they curse me out, tell me they'd kill me and threaten to kick me out. they say im abusive for stressing them out, when all i want is to get my education and enjoy my childhood. yesterday my phone was taken away again and i was told i was a ********ty child and should have been disowned. they say theyd never let me leave regardless, because i dont deserve a happy life. they took away my glasses because apparently im not allowed to see because i'm a terrible child. am i overreacting? is this constituted as abuse? i want to die constantly, and i'm constantly told that having a daughter like me is the worst thing to ever happen. the thoughts of my parents dieing in a car crash or something make me so happy. i feel so guilty but all i can think about is the happiness i'll recieve once theyre dead. is there anyway for me to be put in foster care? or to leave somehow? if i dont get out soon i dont think i can deal with this anymore. who can i tell? i dont know

  • #2
    Thank you for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you have survived years of physical abuse, because punching and kicking a child is absolutely wrong. You never, ever did anything to deserve this treatment.
    It sounds like along with they physical mistreatment, they have threatened to kill you and curse you and control you. You do not deserve this at all. It's important for you to know that they treat you this way because of who they are, NOT because of who you are. They have some pain or anger inside that can only feel better if they lash out like this. You never, ever did anything wrong. Not as a young child, and not now.
    It's understandable to want to be away and safe from them; it's understandable that you have thoughts of them being out of the picture.
    What is also true is that you deserve your life. You will have a life away from them. You will get to decide whether they are a part of your life. We hope that you might remember that is available to you, and they have a chat option.
    We are also here for you. We work best when we can have a conversation with people; you can chat us through this website, or call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY).
    We can help you discover what options you may have and help you make a plan for who and how to tell someone, if that is your decision.

    You have already survived so very, very much. You are so very brave; we know the courage it takes to come here and talk about things that hurt. We believe you, absolutely. We truly hope to hear from you soon.

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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