I'm 13 and I've been struggling with life for the past few months. Should I run away?

[Guest]

It all started years ago when I was 8, my brother was always making fun of my weight and hitting me whenever he didn't get his way. I was scared of him and hated myself whenever I ate. He was being bullied at the time and definetely has mental issues. But I also loved him, but also hated him.

Fast forward to 2020, he took lsd and started doing alchahol. I hate the feeling of hopelessnes and dread whenever my brother comes home drunk. He gets aggresive and threatens to kill himself. Whenever I start to feel the slightest bit of hapiness it's crushed by him. Recently, he has become more violent and aggressive without any alcahol or over very small reasons. He's doing therapy but I'm still very scared of him. I stand up for myself but he's 17 so he could hurt me badly very easily. I have no friends. I can't talk to my mom because she acts as if it's all no big deal. I'm scared he might kill or badly injure me someday. I hate being scared every day. I want to run away or live in a boarding school or anything to get away from home.

[ccsmod16]

Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We are here to help support during these extremely tough moments. We are very sorry to hear that you have been going through such a terrifying time at home with your brother. Our parents should be there to help protect and listen to our concerns and it sounds like your mom is not there for you in the way you truly deserve. Your safety and well-being is of utmost importance, so here are some ideas to consider:

It sounds like life at home continually to gets worse. One thing to consider would be to have an escape plan in the event that you feel your life or physical safety is in harm. This could include having a friend with whom you trust that would allow you to stay at their place for a night and who you could text immediately to come get you. Perhaps have a bag ready with all your essential valuables and store it away in a safe place if you need to leave immediately. Also, there’s a national resource called National Safe Place where you can text the word “safe” and your current location (address, city, state) to 4HELP (44357) and they will guide you to designated areas in your town/city where you could go that are safe (fire station, a library, local store). And of course, there is always your locale police force with whom you call at 911 if you felt immediate danger and no one was there to defend you.

But running away is very dangerous, especially if there isn't an identifiable place to go. We work best when we can have a conversation with people, to help you identify the options you may have.

It takes bravery to reach out and ask for help. We are a 24/7 service readily available to listen and help. We truly hope you will chat us through this website or call our hotline at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY)

We wish you the very best,

NRS