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I'm 12 and my mom scares me, and am thinking about running away.

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  • I'm 12 and my mom scares me, and am thinking about running away.

    Hello. I feel uncomfortable with sharing my name, so I'm not going to state my name.

    I live in the United States of America in New Jersey.
    Backstory: My mom started threatening to hit me either with a belt or a wooden spoon when she was angry at me for asking for the most simple things, like cake. I was just a kid who liked sweets back then so I started thinking I was selfish and ungrateful. She has spanked me with a wooden spoon until I told her that it didn't hurt anymore. I have never been hit by a belt, but I have been threatened since I was 7. I have been depressed since I was 9 or 10, because I told her I got stressed on schoolwork and that people were bullying me and excluding me. She told me that I was just overexaggerating and that I'm probably just being teased, not bullied. She told me once that "If a boy likes me, then he has a crush on me" and brushed off my feelings. I get paranoid a lot and I have a hard time trusting new people. I have to get grades over C. My mom tells me that I overreact and that I'm too sensitive. I have legitimate reasons to be upset, and NOT because of small arguments. I wouldn't even say they are small. I searched up NPD once because I was in how people act if they are narcissistic. My mom related to most signs. I started asking myself if she was toxic. A few days ago, we got into an argument because I asked for a little bit more privacy. I don't search anything bad up. Yet she accused me of hiding something. The most harsh argument we've had was when I went on an inappropriate website that showed videos of actors doing "it" because some bully told me to, me being my naïve self, went on it. She saw me on it, and called me disgusting and that I am dirty, pretty much making me think she was calling me worthless in other words.
    This isn't all, this is the most important things about her. My dad calls her a good mom, and only finds when she yells at me and blaming me discipline.

    What I'm gonna bring to run away:
    Money:
    75-300 USD, reason I'm spacing it out as that much is because I'm gonna check all my dollar bills and see how much it comes out at
    Sleep:
    Pillows, Blankets.
    Games:
    Laptop, Tablet, Phone, Nintendo Switch
    Self defense mechanism:
    A medium sized knife
    Clothing:
    Just some things I like from my winter/spring clothing, and all of my summer clothing. This is a common sense one. You gotta bring clothes.
    Random stuff:
    Inuyasha volume 1 and 2 (maybe 3 if I get it), manga drawing tutorial books, etc.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Guest View Post
    Hello. I feel uncomfortable with sharing my name, so I'm not going to state my name.

    I live in the United States of America in New Jersey.
    Backstory: My mom started threatening to hit me either with a belt or a wooden spoon when she was angry at me for asking for the most simple things, like cake. I was just a kid who liked sweets back then so I started thinking I was selfish and ungrateful. She has spanked me with a wooden spoon until I told her that it didn't hurt anymore. I have never been hit by a belt, but I have been threatened since I was 7. I have been depressed since I was 9 or 10, because I told her I got stressed on schoolwork and that people were bullying me and excluding me. She told me that I was just overexaggerating and that I'm probably just being teased, not bullied. She told me once that "If a boy likes me, then he has a crush on me" and brushed off my feelings. I get paranoid a lot and I have a hard time trusting new people. I have to get grades over C. My mom tells me that I overreact and that I'm too sensitive. I have legitimate reasons to be upset, and NOT because of small arguments. I wouldn't even say they are small. I searched up NPD once because I was in how people act if they are narcissistic. My mom related to most signs. I started asking myself if she was toxic. A few days ago, we got into an argument because I asked for a little bit more privacy. I don't search anything bad up. Yet she accused me of hiding something. The most harsh argument we've had was when I went on an inappropriate website that showed videos of actors doing "it" because some bully told me to, me being my naïve self, went on it. She saw me on it, and called me disgusting and that I am dirty, pretty much making me think she was calling me worthless in other words.
    This isn't all, this is the most important things about her. My dad calls her a good mom, and only finds when she yells at me and blaming me discipline.

    What I'm gonna bring to run away:
    Money:
    75-300 USD, reason I'm spacing it out as that much is because I'm gonna check all my dollar bills and see how much it comes out at
    Sleep:
    Pillows, Blankets.
    Games:
    Laptop, Tablet, Phone, Nintendo Switch
    Self defense mechanism:
    A medium sized knife
    Clothing:
    Just some things I like from my winter/spring clothing, and all of my summer clothing. This is a common sense one. You gotta bring clothes.
    Random stuff:
    Inuyasha volume 1 and 2 (maybe 3 if I get it), manga drawing tutorial books, etc.
    We're glad you're reaching out for support, it sounds like situations at home have been making you unhappy for a while. It sounds like you've been experiencing some stressors at school and at home and that your mom has been minimizing your problems or disallowing you from having the feelings you're having. Your emotions are valid, and deserve to be listened to. You don't deserve to be called names or be told you are 'dirty' or 'disgusting,' and you are not worthless!

    If you are thinking of running away, it can be helpful to think through a plan of where you would go, how long you would stay there, and how you would support yourself long-term. Would you stay with a friend/family member? If you are planning on living on the streets / camping out, consider how long your supplies would last for, and how you would get more when you run out. If you run away, your parents could file a runaway report, and law enforcement could start investigating where you are to try and find you and bring you home.

    If you want to talk with someone more about what's been going on, how you're feeling, or to talk through running away or another solution, you can live chat us at 1800runway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY any time, 24/7.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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