I want to run away, but I don't know if I should

[Guest]

Both of my parents are psycho. They take psychoactive medication. They treat me like im worthless but to my 2 sisters they are the world to them. I have a girlfriend, she is 16, and I have a daughter, she is 10 months. My parent emotionally and verbally abuse me every day. When my dad gets mad at me sometimes he holds me in a head lock and chokes me. I had my girlfriend call the cops last time it happened and they said that it was disipline. I think it is abuse. They put me in deversion because I kept sneaking out. The only reason I did that was to get away from them. My mom grounds me for the stupidest stuff. She also tries to keep me away from my baby and girlfriend. What state can I go to where if I am found the cops will not make me go back home? Is there any youth shelters I can go to? My girlfriends mom said she would take me in if my mom would let me. My mom told my girlfriend that my mom was going to keep me away from my baby and my girlfriend. I don't know what to do anymore. Anything I do, even if it is good, is not good enough for them. I hate my parents. My grandparents won't take me in eigther. I just want to leave. Please help me.

[ccsmod2]

Re: I want to run away, but I don't know if I should

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard during this difficult time. We understand that reaching out for help can be difficult and we’re glad you chose to contact us.

I’m sorry that you are having such a difficult time with your parents. Everyone has the right to feel safe in their own homes and it sounds like you are not experiencing that right now. You said that the one time your dad put you into a headlock, your girlfriend contacted the police for you but they were of no assistance. Have you ever contacted Child Protective Services (CPS)? They will take reports of abuse and neglect. Usually, within 24 hours, they will send someone out to do an investigation and make decision based upon their findings. Either you can call them or someone else can call for you. You can also contact us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY and we can help you make a report.

If you were to leave home, where would you go? You said that your girlfriend’s mom would let you stay there with your mom’s permission but do you think she would let you stay if you ran? How would you survive and take care of your daughter? What do you think you will do if you were to run into trouble? Would your parents allow you to return home?

Generally speaking, the age of majority is 18 years old. That means that if you were to leave home and the police find you, they can pick you up to return you home or contact your parents. That also means that if you were to stay with anyone or if anyone were to assist you, they may be charged with harboring a runaway or contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Harboring a runaway and contributing to the delinquency of a minor can vary from state to state so your local police department would be able to give you a definite answer as to what would happen.

There may be local youth shelters that you would be able to stay at. You can call us here at anytime to find out where they may be. If you were to go to a shelter, they are required by law to contact your parent or legal guardian to notify them that you are there. Shelters are also mandated reporters so if you were to go to one and you told them about the different abuses that were occurring, they would be required by law to make a report to CPS.

Another option that you may have would be emancipation. Generally, that is when you are declared an adult before you become 18 years old and it is done in a court. It can sometimes be a very long legal process and the requirements to become emancipated vary by state. If you would like more information about it, you can contact us here. We can help you by giving you the general guidelines for your state and, if you are interested in it, we can help you find legal assistance that would be able to further assist you.

I hope I have been able to answer some of your questions. If you have any more, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and we are completely confidential and anonymous. We look forward to hearing from you!

~NRS

[Guest]

Re: I want to run away, but I don't know if I should

I was thinking about hiding in the woods over by my girlfriends house during the day then go to her house at night. But I don't know wat I would do on the nights her mom don't work. The deversion office in Lima,OH, where I live, said that Lima does not do emmancipations. I don't know if they just said that to get it out of my head and to scare me or if it is true. But can i have more information about emmancipations for Lima, Ohio? I was going to try and contact Child Services and tell them wat is happening to see if they will help me.

[ccsmod1]

Re: I want to run away, but I don't know if I should

Thanks for writing back. It’s great that you’re trying to find all the options available to you.

We checked the information that we have and it states that Ohio doesn’t have emancipation. This means that more than likely it’s not an option. Since we’re not lawyers, we can’t give you specific legal information. There’s a legal aid hotline in Lima that might be able to provide more specific legal advice to you, Western Ohio Legal Services #419-224-9070.

We’re not sure what Child Services would do, but they’re the organization that’s designed to help children and youth that feel unsafe in their homes. You mentioned that you’ve considered calling them in the past. If this is something that you wanted to talk more about or have help with, you’re welcome to call us. We can conference a call with you on the line to your local Child Services if that’s something you wanted to do. Another organization that could give you more information about what’s considered abuse/neglect as well as suggestions of what you can do. The agency is called Child Help, their 24 hour hotline is 1-800-422-4453.

You wrote that you were planning on hiding in the woods behind your girlfriend’s house. A few questions that might help you to think about before making a plan are: Do you think it would be safe? How will you eat/get food? When her mom does work, where would you stay? How long do you think you could do this for? What about school? If/when it doesn’t work to do this any longer, what would you plan be?

We’d be happy to talk to you more in depth about any or all of this. We can also help conference a call to CPS or other local agencies. Our hotline is available 24/7. We’re completely confidential and anonymous. We’re also not here to tell you what to do or what not to do; we just want to make sure that you have a plan that you’re comfortable with and ensure your safety. Call anytime, day or night.

[Guest]

Re: I want to run away, but I don't know if I should

Well during the night I would stay with my girlfriend. But I'm not sure what I will do when her mom does not work. I would have to stay in the woods for the nights that she don't work. I think that it would be safe, what could happen? I would just not eat during the day then eat at night or my girlfriend could bring me food when her mom is sleeping. I think that I could do this untill I am 18. I would just not go to school anymore.

[ccsmod0]

Re: I want to run away, but I don't know if I should

Thank you for responsing back. It sounds like you have considered how you would survive if you were to live out in the woods. You had mention that this would be your plan until you turn 18. Do you feel that would be realistic? Again, we want you to be safe. We are not here to tell you what to do or what not to do. However, we are here to explore options with you. It also sounds like you have thought about discontinuing school. These seem like pretty big decisions to make and you are welcome to call us if you would like to talk more about any of them.

We are a 24/7 confidential , non-judging, anonymous crisis line. If you would like to discuss in more detail about your plan or anything else; please call us. You can reach us at 1800RUNAWAY (786-2929). We look forward in talking with you! Best wishes!

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Re: I want to run away, but I don't know if I should

If i runaway now, im 15, and come back when im 18 can i still be charged with runaway charges?

[ccsmod8]

Re: I want to run away, but I don't know if I should

Hello,

Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Switchboard with questions regarding local runaway laws. We are only able to answer general questions because every local city and country and state varies. Generally, running away is not illegal in some states but there are consequences of parents filing a runaway report. Do you see this happening? Do you have a plan for leaving home? How will you survive?

Since you are a minor, your parents reserve the rights to file a report with the local police. That allows the police to track you and protects you. If you are caught, the police are likely to take you home or at their own discretion, take you to a shelter or juvenile detention. It is noted that when you turn 18, that makes you can adult. The age of majority in most states is 18. There are a few such as PA, MS and DC that allows for 19 or 21.

It is with the local police that you can seek the right answer for your state. However, if your state makes you 18 as an adult, you will not be force to return home at that point if you are found. It doesn't mean that certain circumstances might not make it that you return home. Are you facing other state charges such as probation or expected in court? That might be the difference with running from a warrant or just being a runaway.

Running away is not to the point where you are committing a crime. It gives you a status offense. This status is not kept on your record. It is easily removed when you come back home and is void when you turn 18.

We are glad that you reach out and that you must have your own reason for why you want to leave. We are here for you anytime. We are here 24 hours a day if you which to speak on how you are feeling or if you need a listening ear. We are confidential and anonymous. Good luck.

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: I want to run away, but I don't know if I should

I live in Lima, OH. If I runaway now, Im 15, and return home when I am 18 can i still be charged with runaway charges even though I am 18.

[ccsmod8]

Re: I want to run away, but I don't know if I should

Hello,

Thank you for the quick response. We appreciate you taking the time to figure out options. We are not legal experts but we can only talk about general laws. Laws change from time to time and can also vary base on the county, city and state you are from. The best resource will be to contact your local police for more info. The number for the police in Lima is 419-227-4444.

In Ohio, the age of adulthood is 18. If you turn 18, the report is likely to be void at that point. It does not mean your parents are not able to file you as a runaway up to that age. They might even be able to file you as missing persons also. However, if you are found at 18, the police are not able to do much anymore.

We are still here for you if you need to contact us directly over the phone at 1800RUNAWAY. We are confidential and anonymous. Good luck.

-NRS