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I want to leave but I have nowhere to go.

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  • I want to leave but I have nowhere to go.

    I am 15 years old, and my parents- my biological maternal grandparents who adopted me and demanded that I call them my parents(a whole other story)- have been pushing me to the limit. You might be thinking, oh, get over it, get some friends, get a therapist, yap, yap, yap. But no. I was discharged from a PRTF about a month ago, and since then, I haven't been out of the house for any reason other than church and therapy. When I go to treatment, my mom usually takes me and does all the talking. She makes up stories about alleged behaviours that include but are not limited to being lazy, saying hurtful things(Which I have never said), threats to kill myself and other general blatant lies. I have been homeschooled since the 7th grade, and everyone I talk to is in their pockets. I can't speak to anyone without them reporting back to them. The truth is, they are very, very cunning and have a way of turning people against me and making it, so I have no support other than them. They make me utterly reliant on them, and they won't teach me conversational skills such as cooking or doing laundry. They do everything they can to prevent me from being independent, and when I complain about it, they turn everything on me and make it seem like I am the incompetent one. They have psychiatrists convinced that I have all these mental issues and constantly tell people that I am retarded and incapable of doing anything on my own. I've had to study secretly because they won't let me do anything that surpasses the level of a 7th grader. They also break me down emotionally, constantly getting onto me about my weight or how quiet I am, and how I don't know how to keep a conversation even though they haven't let me properly socialize since elementary school. I have to sneak around to contact my friends, even if they are people they approve of. I'm constantly under their thumb, and I've tried to run away in the past, but they always believe them, that I'm delusional or have a low IQ or that I'm just lying. People tell me to set boundaries, but whenever I try to fix them or tell them how I feel, they laugh in my face and then I'm just back to square one, sitting at the dinner table listening to them insult and degrade me, just waiting until I snap or cry so they can tell exaggerated tales to my therapist and make it seem like a terrible person. I also have nowhere to go because they completely cut off everyone in their family and moved to Kansas, and they NEVER let me talk to them. I missed both my paternal grandparents' funerals without even knowing that they were dead and buried for YEARS. I JUST found out that someone tried to kill my bio dad and that he's in the hospital, and when I expressed this to my parents, my adopted dad laughed and said that everyone in my family except them shouldn't matter to me after all, they've done for me.

    So, yeah. Any advice? Sorry for the novel; I just had to rant to people who aren't biased and automatically in favour of my parents.

  • #2
    Hi and thank you for reaching out to NRS! It must be difficult to be so isolated and not have access to things outside your home without your parents supervision. It makes sense that you'd want some independence and the ability to make some of your own choices. We are sorry to hear that your parents have been saying hurtful and untrue things about you and that you don't feel supported by them. Feeling controlled and manipulated by people you love is unfair to you and you deserve to be supported and nurtured in a way that will help you progress and grow! You also sound like an incredibly intelligent person who is very capable! If you have access to facebook, it may be helpful to search for some support groups available there on any topic. For example, you can search teen anxiety and depression in the search box on facebook. If you are experiencing any abuse and would like to read about resources or report abuse, you can go to www.childhelp.org or call them at 1-800-422-4433. Another option you may find helpful would be a website that provides help for teens who are dealing with mental health at www.adolescentmentalhealth.org. If you click on resources, you will find some tools there. We also have a live chat that you can access through our website if you'd like to talk in more detail. We are available 24/7 at www.1800runaway.org or you can call us at 1-800-runaway. A few other options we can think of are talking to your parents about joining an activity group with other kids your age or trying to come up with some ideas on other trusted people you have in your life to confide in. We hope this response was helpful to you. Please reach out at again at anytime. We are here to listen and help. Wishing you all the best! NRS!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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