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    Hi, I’m 14 years old, I had a pretty traumatic childhood since I can remember. When I was almost the age of 3, my mom left me and moved to Rio Grande do Sul (a state of Brasil, the country that I use to live in), my father was never present, so I was forced to live with my alcoholic grandmother and his abusive boyfriend, I have seen he doing horrible things with her (he even broke her arm once) and even though my grandma wasn’t soo good with me, I hated to see those things happening to her. When I was 8/9 my mother and it was not good too, my stepfather did some things to me, things I’m lot comfortable to say. My mother never really cared about me, she just wanted to be seen like a good mother, so she bought me good clothes and like, 3/4 toys, she knew that the clothes she use to bought me wasn’t my style and she use to use it as a motive to screen and hit me, because I was “ungrateful”. While I was growing, she started to hit me and scream with me for no motives and that just get worse. Other than that, my mother and stepfather are really racist and homofobic, I hated to hear those disgusting stuffs they said about pocs and gays and have to agree with them so I won’t be hited, because Im half black and I always knew I was part of the LGBT community and they knew it too. When my mother discovered that my fist kiss was with a girl, she started to control my friends and how much time I would be able to talk with them, I didn’t had permission to have female friends if they weren’t from my family and she started to take away the rest of privacy I had, she read my diary, rummaged my stuffs and put an app on my phone and computer so she can control and see every thing I did, I start to cut myself when I was 10. In 2019 she let me went to a psychiatrist because I insisted so much and she was tired of it, I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress, but she said psychiatrists just wanted to earn money and I was doing drama. Some months after this (still 2019), we moved to United States, more specifically Califórnia, I went to school and I hat no friends on school, actually I was bullied there, which was normal I was bullied at Brasil too. I stayed here for 6 months before I went visit my grandma at the beginning of 2020, I ended up stuck there because of the pandemic, me and my grandma always “fought” because she drunk too much and get extremely upset with me for some reason, she took the lock of my door away so she could get in when she wanted, something that upset ME. In November 2021 I was able to come back to Califórnia, I didn’t wanted to come live with my mother again, but I already had the plain of run away again (I tried once in 2019, but it didn’t worked).
    Now I need help, because I don’t have a place to go or a way to make money because I’m an immigrant, I will not be able to get a work, I don’t have a way to get around because places are a little far away from where I live, but I can’t live in a little studio with this people no more…

  • #2
    Thank you for reaching out to us; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you have been through an awful lot in your life and the little you were able to describe does sound traumatic, and you didn't deserve any of it. Not at all.
    We work best with people when we can have a conversation with you, so we truly hope you will chat us through this website, or call us at 1-800-786-2929. One thing we can do through this public forum is suggest that you reach out to which is a mental health site for LGBTQ youth. They are there to support you in the situation where your family doesn't accept you.
    We truly hope that you will chat us or call us so that we can listen and help.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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