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I don't want to live with my mom and stepdad anymore

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  • I don't want to live with my mom and stepdad anymore

    I've been living with my mom ever since she divorced my dad when I was 12, I'm 17 now and I'm tired of living with her and want to move in with my aunt. My dad is out of the picture to move in with because he isn't in the right spot mentally and has too many people coming in and out of his house. For some background she got a new boyfriend a year after her and my dad divorced and it was going smoothly for them until 2 years ago. His ex girlfriend has been harassing me and my mother and had even made a CPS case against us, which was pretty humiliating for me, and also nearly getting my mom fired and having her nurses license revoked by saying she was stealing. While it did die down from that and life has been pretty normal for the most part, he's been more paranoid than ever, constantly thinking there's cameras in the house, our phones are hacked, his ex girlfriend is driving by our house every night, someones following him to and from work. Him and my mom have been arguing every day since and are even starting to pull me into it because he thinks that my mom is cheating on him. I asked my mom why won't she break up with him, mind you he doesn't pay for any bills, buys groceries, or utilities, and won't even watch his own child and always leaves and makes me watch her. He's just... there. But her reasoning is " I don't want him on the street" or "I don't want my daughter to not be with her father." She's constantly bending over for him and not even considering how I feel and I don't think she'd do it anytime soon. Honestly it's very sickening and I'm so tired of them that I would rather live with my aunt than them.

  • #2

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It makes a lot of sense that you’re tired of living at home, given everything that’s been going on. It sounds upsetting and disappointing, to experience this side of your mom’s relationship. You sound like a very caring and thoughtful person, and it’s a good thing that you’re reaching out for support and looking for a way to have a more comfortable home life. It must feel awful to not feel like your mom is considering your feelings in this situation too.

    It makes sense that you’d like to move out, rather than continue witnessing your mom’s arguments with her boyfriend, watching his child for him, and witnessing a side of their relationship that concerns you, and enduring the ex-girlfriend’s unacceptable harassment of your family. It sounds like you’ve thought about your options for where to live instead and that your aunt’s place could be a good option for you. You might want to consider how your mom will react if you were to move out, and whether any logistical hurdles might come up, such as finding adequate transportation and finishing school. If you’d like to contact us at NRS at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are a confidential, anonymous hotline available 24/7, and we would be happy to discuss your options for moving out with you and help you make a plan. We could also talk through how you might want to approach a conversation with your mom about moving out. We also have a conference call service we offer where we can moderate a phone call between a youth and parent, to help make sure everyone feels their voice is being heard.

    In addition to talking to your mom about how you’ve been feeling and what you’d like to change in your home life, you might consider talking to another adult whom you can trust about what’s been going on at home. You might also consider reaching out to a friend you can trust for support. It must be hard to cope right now at home, but you don’t have to go through this alone. Good luck!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)


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