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Am I Overreacting?

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  • Am I Overreacting?

    Exposition: I’m 17 and 10 months. Parents are divorced, split schedule. I struggle with mental health stuff, but I’m pretty self-sufficient if need be. I have always had a pretty comfortable life and gotten along (mostly) with both my parents. Five months ago, my mom went through my room under the guise of “I was worried” and found some pretty private stuff in a journal. I am not a danger to myself, I just was trying to be poetic or something, I don’t even know. She then divulged that to my psychiatrist, who said that if I didn’t talk to my dad about the stuff my mom found, she would. And she did. Fast forward five months, I’m not talking any family at all, nor anyone my mom tries to get me to talk to. I live full time at my mom’s. My mom called the police on me twice (once for going for a walk and not telling her, once for kicking her for touching me without my consent, which she KNOWS I’m very sensitive about—it was clearly an attempt to provoke me into interacting with her, she does it a lot). She says if I leave the house AT ALL she’ll report me as a runaway.

    I can’t make up with her. That’s not a possibility. I basically live 24/7 in the basement. I quite literally can’t leave the house without being reported as a runaway. I’m oscillating between being so angry at her, and feeling terrible because I know a lot of this is my own fault for being a stubborn, petulant piece of [redacted] and not just manning up and talking to her. I know how bratty I’m being, but it feels like i just can’t help it. I’ve looked through other threads and seen what others are dealing with, I know what’s out there, I know I’m kind of bringing it all upon myself.

    So. Now that I’ve talked too much, I don’t know where to go from here. Right now, I’m taking everything and giving nothing. I’m using resources like food and shelter and treating everyone like a piece of [redacted]. I want to leave so bad so that I don’t do that anymore, and also so that I don’t have to deal with all the relationships I’ve effed up. There’s kind of one thing holding me here, and that’s that I want to finish up school and get my diploma. I’m doing very very well in school, and I want to finish. I don’t really know where to go from here. Is it fair to run away when I know that the situation won’t get better? Is it worth sacrificing school if I can leave earlier than later?

    I want someone to tell me what to do, because I don’t know what’s right here. All I know is that it’s exhausting being so angry all the time, and I want to be left alone. I do so well when I’m left alone, but no one seems to believe me. I’m tired.

  • #2
    Hi, we are glad you reached out to us for help. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. You are dealing with a lot, no wonder you are tired.

    Let’s start with a couple of legal points that are very state dependent. We are not legal experts but in general most states BUT not all have the age of majority (when you are considered an adult) as 18. So you are really close in most states. As your guardian your Mom can report you as a runaway until you are 18 and it would be up to the responding police officer to decide if it would be better to leave you where you are, take you back home or involve child protective services.

    Also, your Mom could report you as an endangered youth based on what she told your Psychiatrist. It does not sound like you are but your Mom would be filing those reports with the police to get her needs met.

    It sounds like you are seeing some of your contribution and that is great but without some support and meaningful “seeing of you” and your needs from your Mom it will be difficult to get your current dynamic at home to change.

    We understand you are looking for someone to tell you what to do and help you know what is right. That makes perfect sense, however, we are a non-directive agency. That fundamentally means we won’t tell you what to do. However, we will listen to you and talk to you about everything that is going on. We will help you explore all your options (maybe ones you don’t know are available) and the likely outcomes. We will help you figure out a plan that works for you and most importantly one that feels right to you and is safe. We will use our resources to get you with programs and youth services to support you as you work your plan and we will conference call with you to those resources to make sure they can give you the help you need.

    You can take that next step with us by reaching out to us for a chat through our website or by calling our crisis hotline at (800) RUNAWAY. Both are available 24/7 and both are completely confidential.

    We know we can help you figure this out and we look forward to hearing from you.

    NRS


    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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