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I'm 17, and... idk even know man. I feel so many things that it hurts.

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  • I'm 17, and... idk even know man. I feel so many things that it hurts.

    I'm 17, and I've been bullied by peers my entire life; up until high-school, where it changed to my father being my biggest problem. Ever since I started high-school my dad and have had a very strained relationship, and every day it gets worse and worse and I can barely handle it. Sometime in freshman year I developed a severe case of OCD, which my family didn't take too kindly to. It took em a couple months to notice, but boy when they did all they could do was scream and be mad at me. I've also been blessed by the universe in the form of some life threatening disease that makes me produce too much cholesterol, this was identified when I was 2 years old and the doctor told my family I would die before I'm twenty if left untreated... yata yata yata time passes my parents divorce, after a bit I'm moved to Iowa with my father, where for year he neglects my issues, until finally my mother gets the court to force him to get me checked and low and behold I'm put on medication for life at the ripe age of 9 YEARS OLD! I've also always struggled with poor memory, and have a tendency to forget pills, of which my father and step mother take the opportunity to remind that I will die and stroke out... very loudly. When I was put on an antidepressant for the first time I distinctly remember my dad saying "We got your stupid medicine like you wanted now shut up" and from that day forward every financial ******** up I've caused my parents they never let me forget, they always tell me how much of a burden I am whenever they're yelling at me.

    more recently, I was visiting my mother down south and went to the ER for intense shortness of breath and feeling like I'm fainting, a problem I went to see my family doctor for just a month prior, both times my only abnormality was a very high blood pressure. Well it turns out the new antidepressant I was put on was having very serious effects that were being subverted to the point I couldn't recognize my anxiety. After the fiasco, my dad gets a bill... and yata yata yata we have several fights about my pills (of which I didn't forget any of while I was down south). And after forgetting pills finally my stepmother tells me to my face that if I stroke out, they'll just leave me in a state facility to live in my own ********. And I've been having major depression since then.

    on top of all my medical ass********ery my dad gets drunk at night which has resulted in more fights, fights that make me genuinely scared for my life: and it's because of how his voice changes to a cold yet casual voice like he knows he could whatever he wants and nun would even happen to him. I remember one time he threatened to mushroom stamp me too... on top of the "I'm gonna beat you within an inch of your life" threats too. I'm also not allowed to show any insubordination, or if I forget to clean the cat box I forgot and I'll say I did it and then whenever they catch me they always talk about I'm being lazy and using my OCD as a crutch (of which I don't, sometimes I just get super anxious at thought of taking another shower that I subconsciously stop myself from doing certain things and within like 5 minutes I've forgotten about it). But the calling it a crutch is constant, especially now that I've been trying to work through it, my severity has been fluctuating and my parents just see it as me only having a disorder when it benefits me. But that's not what I'm trying to do! I promise, I promise I promise

  • #2
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)


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