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My family, I hate them, I want to leave. But I'm too scared too.

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  • My family, I hate them, I want to leave. But I'm too scared too.

    My family is transphobic, homophobic and racist. My mom also emotionally abuses my younger sibling and me. She criticizes and manipulates. I understand that she wants to raise us and stuff but I don't think that's the right way. Whenever I try telling her my opinion, she just tells me that she is the adult of this household and that she raises her kids the way she wants. She doesn't let me explain myself and I hate her so much. For example, it was my sibling's birthday and my mom was telling them to wear a dress, however, they didn't want to. My mom suddenly tells them that she'll throw away all their clothes and she'll cancel their birthday party if they didn't wear that stupid dress, and she starts telling them that they looked ugly with these "boy" clothes. Then I start saying that it was their birthday and that they should be able to wear whatever happily. But then she says that she doesn't want people to believe that Yara (my sibling's name) comes from a poor and homeless family because she is not wearing a dress(I don't ********ing know what she is talking about). So I try explaining to her that I don't want to see my little sibling sad, and I also don't want them to care about what others perceive them, and that I think they should be happy with themselves. But then my dad intervenes saying he also wants Yara to wear a dress because he doesn't want them to become lesbian or trangender. He says Yara tells him that they don't want to be a girl but a boy. My dad says he doesn't want them to be "confused". I hate my family so much and I don't want my little sibling to hate themselves because of them. I want to run away so badly too, but I'm scared to. Another reason I want to run away is because when I was about to come out to my mom as pansexual, she tells me that she would disown me if I was lesbian. I became so sad, and started getting so depressed, because I couldn't believe my mom would just throw me away like that just because of who I like. I always thought she'd like me no matter what but I was wrong. After this I hated her so much and stopped talking to her. I really don't know what to do and I really need help. I'm also dealing with so much dysphoria (since I'm polysexual) and I don't want the same thing to happen to my little sibling. I'm so sad and scared. Please help me I don't know what to do.

  • #2
    Hello, thank you for reaching out to us here at the NRS. It seems like both you and your siblings are in a very hard position right now. Neither of you deserve to be treated differently due to your sexuality. Your parents should not disown you because of who you chose to like. It is totally understandable that you have negative feelings towards your parents due to the ways that they treat you. It is also understandable that you want to leave home, but are afraid to actually do so. In terms of running away, there are some services that we can potentially provide you such as transitional living programs. If you would like to further discuss this option, or want someone to talk to more about your situation please do not hesitate to call our confidential 24 hour hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat. You also mentioned that you are struggling with Dysphoria. This is something that is completely understandable, and there are many people who you can talk to about this and get further support. One place you can reach out to is The Trevor Project hotline at 1-866-488-7386. Even through this hard time, you seem to be an amazing older sibling to Yara, and they are very lucky to have you. We wish you the best of luck, and do not hesitate to reach out to us again!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      im i9 years old and moved in with step mum now i have 4 younger half siblings and every one hates me because im just like my real mum which she was an abusive and drug addict mother but honestly i dont do anyof that stuff. its like i am a complete stranger to them thaat they dont what to live with i have ran away from home 3 times and want to do it again but this time ive liturally got no where to go and i dont know what to do.

      Comment


      • ccsmod13
        ccsmod13 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello!

        We are glad that you decided to reach out to us. We are sorry to hear that you feel like a stranger with your step mother and siblings. You are special and deserve to be loved and appreciated at home!

        It sounds like you are having a difficult time right now, moving to a home that you aren't familiar with. One option could be to tell your teacher about how you are feeling at your new home and they may be able to direct you to a school counselor that could help you and your family. Another option could be to talk to your dad or another adult you trust and see how they can help make the situation better. Another option could be having a conversation with your step-mother about how everyone is making you feel and how you think about running away.

        We are here to listen and help in any way we can. If you ever feel like talking to us again please feel free to reach out at www.1800runaway.org to online chat or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929).

        Good luck!

    • #4
      This is the first time I've actually expressed myself , I am in a homophobic home , no one loves me , I get treated differently from my other siblings , I don't like being here , this has been going on for years , I wanna run aways but I'm scared I don't know we're to go , I just wanna talk to someone , I've thought about suicide but I've also thought bout I can do stuff and get someone where in life , so if I could talk to anyone that would be great , I've been treated badly , I've been down talked I've been told I would never be anything in live , I hate it here , I just wanna be with a family that actually cares for me

      Comment


      • ccsmod13
        ccsmod13 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We know it takes a lot of courage to reach out, so thank you for being vulnerable and expressing yourself to us. We are so sorry you're being mistreated this way at home. Please know that you don't deserve the emotional abuse that your family has put you through and it is in no way because of who you are that they act that way. You should be accepted for you and you deserve to feel loved and cared for at home. We are here to support you however we can as you try to navigate this challenging situation.

        You are right, you will make it through this and be able to do have more experiences and go different places in life. We know it can seem impossibly hard right now, but your life is worth living. You will get away from your family eventually, even if it takes time, and be able to live your life the way that you want. If you ever have these suicidal thoughts again, you can always reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They are a 24-hour, toll-free, confidential suicide prevention hotline for those in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. You can also feel free to call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). They are a national organization that specializes in providing confidential, 24/7 mental health services. Additionally, if you'd like to talk more about wanting to run away, we are here. We can look for nearby shelters or other resources you may need. NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance, so if you would like to talk more in detail about your situations and options you may have, please call or chat soon.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

        We hope to hear from you soon.

        Be safe and take care,
        NRS
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