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My mom is toxic and will not listen to me

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  • My mom is toxic and will not listen to me

    My mom is toxic and won't listen to me. She is always yelling at me, taking her anger out on me, and blaming me for things I didn't do. She always uses the excuse that I am being "disrespectful". Yesterday she took my phone (I am writing this on my school computer) because I told her to be quiet so I could film a video. I wasn't being rude or anything, but she still called me "disrespectful". Another time I was having a panic attack because she was yelling at me, and called it "disrespectful" even though I couldn't control it (her treating me like this is the reason I have anxiety). It even got to the point where she threatened to kick me out and force me to live with my grandparents even though I'm only 13. She also guilt trips me by saying things like "think about all the things I've done for you!" I've been trying to tell her I have anxiety and feel depressed for a long time, but she has never listened. She finally did something after I talked with my school counselor about it and she told my mom, but now she is forcing me to go to a therapist that is an 80 year old woman that I don't trust. I'm also gay and my town (including my parents) is very homophobic, so I'm only out to my closest friends. She also demands respect from me but does not respect me back (so she is, in reality, the disrespectful one). She also treats my 9 year old sister badly, but much better than she treats me. I'm always wishing that I had a different family and I want to run away, but there is no chance since I am only 13.

  • #2
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes a lot courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like things at home are not so great right now and that it feels like a stressful situation. You don’t deserve to be treated the way you are being treated.

    We understand the urge to runaway, so it is important to know what that would mean at your age. Since you are 13 years old, your parents can file a runaway report. Running away is not illegal but it is a status offense (something you cannot do because of your age). If your parents were to file a runaway report, then you could be found by the police and returned home.

    It can be super helpful to have strong support systems. We are sorry to hear that you do not feel like you can trust the therapist you are seeing. It might be helpful to discuss that. How do you think your mom would feel if you shared that feeling and the desire to potentially find another therapist? If you do not feel like you can trust your therapist, how would you feel about talking to a friend, another family member, or teacher/school counselor about what is going on? Sometimes it can be really helpful to have someone that will listen to what is going on and someone that can offer suggestions/advice.

    Your well-being is also super important and having coping mechanisms to take care of yourself can be super beneficial. You can listen to music, journal about what is going on, exercise, take a walk, draw, or just do an activity that makes you feel good.

    Thank you again for contacting NRS. We want you to know that we are here to support you 24/7. If you would like to talk in more detail, please contact NRS either by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chatting online through 1800runaway.org.
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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