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I don't know what to do anymore

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  • I don't know what to do anymore

    Hi, I'm 16 and I've thought about running away many times over the years but I don't know about doing that everyone thinks I have a good life but I don't feel like that, my dad wasn't always in my life and I don't talk to him now but the problem is my mom she doesn't really understand me i feel, last year i told her I was gay and she told me that being gay wasn't right because God doesn't like gay people so now I feel like I'll never be happy in any relationship so I don't even look for one and over the years I've had trouble with homework and she'd get mad if I fail and would take away my ps4 which is like the only thing I actually enjoy because I don't have anyone else really my sister is grown and has a boyfriend and job and I feel like she wouldn't understand everything I feel and my step dad always sides with my mom, I've even thought about killing myself just to be free from the pain, and talking to my mom isn't something I could just do I've told her I've wanted to die and all she said was I didn't love her because if I did I wouldn't feel that way she thinks being gay leads to depression and always thinks I'm just always depressed and I'm not, I'm happy sometimes but then she'd start talking about gay people if she sees it on TV and it makes me feel bad and then I get unhappy she thinks all I want to do is play my game but it's the only thing that makes me happy because being here definitely doesn't and she doesn't care because when I even try talking to her she only hears what she wants to hear and it hurts that I feel unhappy and empty in my own home and it's nothing I can do but just sit and deal with the pain and start thinking when will it end and it feels like I'm slowly just being killed emotionally by my own mother because it's her way or no way and she just told me if I don't graduate high school I have to get out of her house and never call her again and I love my mother I really do but the way she treats me has me feeling horrible and I'm starting to get depressed.

  • #2
    Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people around you are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe.

    We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer:

    You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. This may mean calling the authorities or possibly reporting the things you may be experiencing. Other options to think about may be other family members, friends, or a trusted adults that would be able to provide you with support or a safe place to stay. It is great that you thinking ahead. Should you feel like leaving home is best, it may be a good idea to think about how you will provide necessities for yourself such as food, clothing, showers, healthcare and other basic needs. You may want to also consider how your parent’s will react to you leaving without permission. We are not legal experts here, but typically as a minor (under the age of 1 you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.

    If you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out through Live Chat we can try to find some youth shelters that may be near your city and state by utilizing our database of resources. We can also try to call out to shelters with you or on your behalf to advocate for you.

    Stay Strong,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)


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