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17, abuse at home, want to run away with boyfriend

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  • 17, abuse at home, want to run away with boyfriend

    I’m 17 and live in Virginia. A couple months ago my mother allowed my boyfriend who lived in Connecticut to move in to the house to be with me. However for years before this and now my mother constantly emotionally abuses me and threatens to physically abuse me. 2 weeks ago when I got hit really badly with hay fever that eventually became an ear infection she looked at a pile of dirty clothes in my room and said it’s my fault I got sick because my room looks like a pig pen and that she should beat me black and blue for wasting her time when it’s “my” fault I got sick. Just today she kicked my 15 year old brother out to live with our grandmother (her mother) and said that my boyfriend has to go back to Connecticut and there’s “something else in store for me” because she “doesn’t want to take all her anger out on me at once”. His family is willing to take me in and let me finish school there but I’m not sure if my mother will let me and emancipation isn’t the way to go for me as my mother made it so I can’t work since she lost my social security number and birth certificate and the process to get those things will take a while so I wouldn’t be able to prove I have a source of income within 6 months as I turn 18 in November. July 1st is when my boyfriend has to leave and I’m heavily considering running away willingly if she doesn’t give me her BS permission. If I were to be returned back to my mother or be unable to go to Connecticut though I have a suicide plan I will immediately act on as I don’t feel safe with my mother and her boyfriend and that would be the only way I could find peace.

    If I need to I will go through CPS and bring to light every instance where my mother has abused my brother, my sister, and I. ONLY if that means I get to live with my boyfriend in Connecticut.

    SUMMARY: 17 and in Virginia suffering with an abusive mother and need to know if there’s a way I can leave with my boyfriend to live with his family in Connecticut without going through emancipation process

  • #2
    Hello There,

    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time and we want you to know that you are not alone.

    We are sorry to hear that you are dealing with abuse, you do not deserve this and there are a few ways you can make a report. One option to consider would be talking with a school counselor or teacher, because they are mandated reporters they would be required to make a report on your behalf. Another option would be to call Child Help at: 1800-422-4453, and they would be able to help with making a report. Lastly, you can always call or chat with us and we would be happy to help you make a report.

    We know you mentioned suicide, and we want you to know that your life is important and you are worth living. Suicide is permanent decision to a temporary situation, you are almost 18 and will be able to leave the situation soon. If you are ever feeling suicidal or just need someone to talk to you can always call us or The National Suicide Prevention Line at: 1800-273-8255.

    As far as leaving legally it seems like emancipation is the main option, which like you stated you may be 18 before the process was over. We are not legal experts but if you were to leave without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. Because you are so close to being 18 they may allow you to stay wherever you are as long as you are safe. Also it is hard to say if you got CPS involved where you would end up staying for sure.

    We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options, please give us a call. We are available 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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