i hate my family.

[Guest]

perhaps my title is too cliche or basic but it is what it is.

i dislike my family, no matter the time they spent with me or the things theyve done for me. they have completely destroyed my self confidence and mental health, and then they pretend that they didnt. im struggling to finish and send in school work because i lack motivation and cant bring myself to finish any of it. its not just school work either, its just any work in general and the consequence to this was getting screamed at, threatened, having my phone broken, getting hit and having my friends taken away (i could only contact them through my phone). maybe its my fault for not finishing any of my school work, but how am i supposed to do so when i can barely get up in the morning? how will i finish work when i spend half of my day crying over how im not good enough and how much i wanna die? how will i do something i dont want to do when i cant even bring myself to do the things i WANT to do?

after they found out about my poor grades, my sister went through my messages with my friends and found out i was lgbtq, which resulted in her outing me. she outed me to my homophobic and transphobic parents. apparently, telling me to kill myself, sl*t my wrists, and saying i was a waste of space wasnt enough for her. she just had to out me too. everyday she calls me slurs and tells me im so fat, ugly, and stupid. my parents dont do anything about it and sometimes they even encourage it by slapping me when theyre mad at me too. they even tried to put me in religious classes, which i refused to go to, resulting in me getting screamed at for an hour. they act like they didnt do anything the next day, it happens all the time, but i always remember what they did. maybe they shouldve thrown me out like they threatened to.

my online friends were the only thing that made me wanna live. without them, i am useless

not edited my apologies for any grammar mistakes

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You do not deserve to be treated this way by your family. It sounds like your family’s behavior is taking a severe toll on your mental health, which is completely understandable. If you are at risk of any danger or are feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. From your post, it sounds like you have maybe thought about suicide before, so another resource to consider reaching out to is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline- their number is 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and their website is www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/
Please know that you can also reach out to NRS by chat or phone to talk more about your situation. We are here to support you during this challenging time, and can do our best to help connect you to resources such as counseling services in your area.
Be safe,
NRS