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  • my house is not a home.

    hello, my name is _______*Edited out for confidentiality*
    I'm seventeen years old && I don't feel as if my house is a home. I as a human make mistakes && you know what I don't regret them what does not kill you makes you stronger. I feel like my mother just does not want to understand where I'm coming from I feel as if I'm not welcome in my own home. Because I'm adopted... I'm pregnant about a month or so && I can't even tell my mom. I want an abortion but I know that she will kick me out if I had ever told her something of that matter. She doesn't like me as a person && that kills me. I feel like my only option is leaving. Going to newyork && getting an abortion and just starting a new life. I just got expelled from school for doing body piercings at school so I can get a GED while I'm over there as well what should I do. What possible consequences could there be for this action?

  • #2
    Re: my house is not a home.

    Thank you for sharing your situation with us at the National Runaway Switchboard. You sound like a really strong person who has been through a lot. We imagine that what you've been going through isn't easy. We are not legal experts, but generally speaking running away is not considered illegal. However, many states consider harboring a runaway a crime. What this means is that you stay with someone whom your mom doesn’t agree; he or she could get in trouble. Runaway and homeless youth shelters are sometimes an option, but they too are probably going to have to contact your mom anywhere from immediately to 72 hours if they are more lenient. Below is a link where you can search for shelters based on state.

    http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/fysb/co ... locate.htm

    You mentioned that you are pregnant and it sounds like you are considering an abortion. Have you gone to a doctor or clinic to get your pregnancy confirmed? If so, have you spoken to anyone about possible options? Different states oftentimes have different laws regarding minors and reproductive rights including abortion. Below are some resources that may be of help to you:

    National Abortion Federation
    1-800-772-9100
    http://www.prochoice.org

    Sex, etc.
    http://www.sex.etc.org

    We are sorry to hear that you feel as though you mom doesn’t understand you and that you are unwelcome in your own home. We are not here to tell you to stay home, but if you did decide you wanted to, many states have laws which do not allow parents/guardians to legally kick out minors.

    It sounds like you are considering going to New York to start a new life. Where would you go? What would you do if you started to feel unsafe? You mentioned that you were recently expelled and were wondering about your GED. Homeless youth generally have a right to an education through the McKinney Vento Act, but we cannot guarantee that they wouldn’t have to contact your mom if you are able to enroll in school. http://www.serve.org/NCHE/m-v.php

    We are not here to judge you or tell you what to do. We are here to be supportive, to listen, and to go over possible options. Should you decide to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, you are welcome to do so. We are anonymous, confidential, and are available 24/7. We wish you the best of luck and encourage you to call us whenever you are ready.

    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: my house is not a home.

      hello its me again. Yes I have confirmed my pregnancy. I know that in newyork its legal for a minor to get an abortion without parental permission or contact. See ive lived in newyork my whole life. I just moved to Florida a year ago... I would go stay with my older sister or my birth mother because I do have communication with them they have space for me and I know I'll be safe. I really don't want to leave my house but like I said my house is not a home my mother tells me that she would sleep better at night if I would just leave and although I'm not a child anylonger it still hurts me so much to hear that since I'm new here I have no one to speak to. The phone usually has two ears if you know what I mean I have no privacy... I really do feel as though I'm strong and mature enough to make serious life decisions like ones i will make in future times but nobodies perfect. Ive been very stupid ive been very impulsiveand I'm just so ready to leave it all behind.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: my house is not a home.

        Thank you for continuing to share your situation with us. It certainly sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate and have an important decision to make. Again, we are not here to tell you what to do, but if you are able to find a way to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we encourage you to do so. As we stated earlier we are not legal experts, but usually youth have to follow the laws for the state where they are currently residing. Have you looked into reproductive rights for the state of Florida? If your adoptive mom did file you as a runaway, what would you do? It sounds like you’ve already come to the realization that nobody’s perfect which can be comforting. You say that you’ve been impulsive and are ready to leave it all behind, but have you come up with a plan? Here is a link to some common questions to think about before running away: http://www.1800runaway.org/youth_teens/nrs_help.html
        We wish you luck with whatever you decide and hope you are able to stay safe!

        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: my house is not a home.

          my mom i love her but every thing turns into a argument she just always down grades me she going to take my laptop and my shoes back she made fun of me because i messed up on my dance rehurecle and now i probley can't puform im 11 im sad can u give me sum advice

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: my house is not a home.

            Hello,

            It is nice to hear from you as you try to put a spin on your home situation for the better. It sounds like you care a lot for your mother. However, there is perhaps only so much you can take right now with everything turning into an argument. What do you mean by "she just always downgrades me?" Is it that she takes away privileges or that she says negative things?

            We are not in the position to offer you advice because we are a confidential and anonymous crisis line. However, we can provide a listening ear to you in time of need if you wish to call us directly at 1800RUNAWAY. Are the shoes your mother planning to take aware use for dance rehearsal? We are sorry to hear that your mother will likely take them away if you need your shoes for practice.

            It looks like you truly look forward to having these moments to yourself. It is good to see that you are able to create activities away from home. We imagine it can help to avoid stress with mom. Have you thought about speaking with mom soon about how you are feeling? We imagine that this issue might be solvable by open communication. Do you have others to reach out to about the matter? Perhaps they can help you with how you are feeling and mediate a conversation between you and mom.

            We wish to hear from you to speak on other ways you can cope. What helps you to feel better? We can be reached 24 hours a day. We are confidential and anonymous. We offer resources to local places if you wish to explore counseling. We are here for you. You are not alone. We look forward to speaking with you soon. Good luck.

            -NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment

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