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Can't Stand Father

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  • Can't Stand Father

    I'm a 15 year old female in Pueblo, Colorado, and I just can't keep living this life anymore. I have a dad, mom, and an older sis who's 17. My main problem is with my dad, whom I fear, and hate. Whenever he approaches me, my heart beats faster literally and my blood boils, etc. Recently, he has taken my cellphone, and sent horrid text messages to one of my friends, and possibly even my other friends. But throughout my whole life he's been putting me down, calling me 'negative', and not appreciating anything I do. Every few nights he's starts acting strange after drinking several glasses of wine (Hence I think he gets drunk), and does strange things to me. But when he's asleep, he tends to wake up, and mom tells me not to approach him because he can get violent. Whenever he's angry he yells awful things and sometimes gets violent, and I get too scared to fall asleep, fearing for my life.
    My mom doesn't do anything about it, and just 'talks to him about it', but nothing changes. my sis only tattle tales on me, sometimes making the situation worse.
    At this point I've had enough, but I Just don't know what to do.

  • #2
    Re: Can't Stand Father

    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Switchboard. It is very brave of you to take the step to figuring out your options and what you are in the position to do to work out some of the issues you are having at home. We imagine that dealing with a violent father is not easy and constantly having to tip toe around him is something that you do not deserve. You deserve better. It is certainly not fair to you to get called "negative" names and be put down all the time.

    It sounds like you do not have much support from anyone of your parents but can still turn to friends for support. Have you thought about seeking counsel from a school personnel or someone you can trust outside of your home? Sibling rivalry seems to be getting worse for you. With no support from mom and dad, we feel that we are able to be of support. We want you to know that you are not alone. If you need to reach us directly, we can be reached 24 hours a day, at 1800RUNAWAY.

    We are a confidential crisis hotline and care a lot for your safety. We are here to listen and offer resources to you. We are not in the position to tell you what to do but wish to only get the conversation going to start to have you figure out other options. We are mandated reports also. What that means is the ability to take your story and report it to the authorities but only if you wanted to report what is happening with you. These things can go smoothly sometimes but it not always a guarantee that you will be taken out of the home and placed elsewhere. We certainly wish to hear from you to talk about these things more and to get you a better sense of what may or may not happen but nothing is for certain.

    Have you ever considered counseling to deal with some of what you are going through? We have resources for you here as well for your area if you need any. One number that is good for what rights you have in the situation is with an agency called Justice for Children at 1800-733-0059. We hope that this number can be of help. We care a lot for your issues and wish to hear from you soon. We hope you are finding ways to remain safe. We imagine that finding other ways to cope and alternatives to dealing with the stress is always helpful. Good luck.


    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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    • #3
      Re: Can't Stand Father

      i feel the EXACT SAME WAY right now. I know how you feel, and i just want out of this house. i love my mom and everything, but me and my father will NEVERget along. i always forgive himfor emotionally abusung me, but not this time. he wants me out of his house. and my mom "talks to him", but it neve helps. i need help also... but i dont wanna turn to the police or CPS. i dont want to ruin my moms happiness.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Can't Stand Father

        Thanks for posting on our bulletin boards with your own thoughts and experiences. Sometimes it helps to know that others are going through similar situations. We’re sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time with your father. It sounds like your mom tries to advocate for you, but that there’s still a lot of difficulty at home.

        You wrote that you “always forgive him for emotionally abusing me, but not this time”. It’s probably hard to be emotionally abuse and we’re really sorry you’re going through that. If you want to talk to someone about what’s been going on, we’re here to listen.

        You also mentioned that you were looking for help, but that you don’t want to talk to the police or CPS. What do you feel like would help you? Sometimes it helps to think about what types of things you want to change and then think about what, if anything, you have control over to make those changes. Are there people in your life that you can turn to for help? It sounds like you have your mom as an ally, but you don’t feel like it helps when she talks to your father.

        One of the things that we can do here is talk to people about what’s going on and help them think about different options. We’re not here to tell you what to do or what not to do, but rather are here to listen to you, encourage you and empower you to make the best decision for yourself. We also have a database of local resources that may be able to assist you as well.

        Someone is here 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We’d be more than happy to talk to you anytime!
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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