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Running Away and Never Turning Back
Hello, I apologize this might be a little long but I need some advice. Okay, I'm a female and I'm going to be turning 15 next year. I've been thinking about running away for a while now, and I sorta have a plan now. So the reason(s) I want to run away is mainly because of my mother and her "perfect" boyfriend. So, my mother didn't come back into my life until I was probably about 10 years old. It was always my nana and my great-grandmother taking care of me. I saw my mom like for birthdays and things like that but she never had full "custody" over me, and she did that voluntarily. My mother got me back for good at the beginning of last year. We moved into this apartment, my mother was never perfect but she tried to do better. In July my nana passed away. It left everybody devastated. My mother had been talking and seeing all these men to cope with the death of my nana. Yes, it doesn't sound that bad because she's an adult and she can do whatever she wants, but that's not it. While she was doing all of that, she was bring me all in the mix. It was a very toxic environment and it was affecting me mentally and emotionally. Mind you she took my phone when I was starting 7th grade and now I'm almost done with 8th grade, going into high school. She still hasn't given me my phone back, keep that in mind. So around New Year's Eve, she started messing with this guy named Kris which is now her "perfect" boyfriend. I wasn't very open to him because I don't trust males in my life. I only trust my poppa, my uncles, my father who is incarcerated, and my really good friend that I knew since I was 9. So my mother and Kris had left and gone back to the apartment. I was at my nana's house for New Year's Eve. So I stayed a couple of days over there just to spend some quality time with my great-grandmother. My mother comes back to pick me up a couple of days later and of course...Kris is in the car with her. So she pulls me into the garage and asks me specifically "Do you mind if Kris spends the night over at the apartment", and I said I didn't care because it would only be for one night, but of course it didn't turn out that way. That one night turned into a month, 2 months, 3 months, and now going into 4 months. She moved him in without even asking me! I'm lost for words at this point. Ever since he moved in everything changed. My mother then started neglecting me and acting differently. He goes with us everywhere. She's always in the room with him, never coming into my room or asking me if I want to spend quality time with her. Even when I do try to spend time with her she's always too busy focused on him. He is not someone I want in my life and the fact that she is letting him do whatever he wants I honestly don't want her in my life either. One night, they got really drunk in front of me. They came out and started play fighting or whatever. I had a really bad vibe about the whole situation so I told them that they needed to calm down and of course, they didn't listen. My mother went into the bathroom and Kris walked in after her. He walked out super mad and went into the other room. My mother then walked out and followed him. They started arguing in the other room and he started breaking my mother's things. Throwing glass on the ground, punching holes in the walls, everything you can think of. I was in the living room listening to all of this. Mind you, she hasn't given me my phone back so I had no one to talk to or no one to be able to call. She walks out and Kris runs after her putting her in a chokehold. He stops when he sees that I see that he is hitting on her. She says I have to go to bed so that's what I do just listening to my mother. Then they start fighting in the middle room which is right next to my bedroom. I didn't know what to do. I was scared and worried and had all these thoughts. DO I jump out my window and try to get help?!?! What do I do?!?! My mind was going crazy. Then I hear punches like I can hear them hitting each other. So, I put on my shoes and run in the middle room and my mother's shirt is completely ripped off of her and there both bruised up, there still fighting when I walk into the room so I try to push him out of the room, while I was trying to do that my mother throws this big fan and it ends up hitting me in my head, at that point, I was over the whole situation. I end up getting him out of the room and she started screaming at me as if I did something wrong. So I just walk into my room and let them do whatever they're gonna do. I was just numb. I couldn't take it anymore. It just didn't concern me anymore. She ends up coming into my room and said that it wasn't supposed to happen like that I just didn't respond. The night goes on and he leaves with all his stuff the next morning. I think he's finally gone. About 2 days later he comes back, he starts drinking again and they argue and fight and he leaves again. This is the time I really thought he was finally gone. He was gone for 3 days, and of course, my mother lets him back in. At this point, I'm so done with this. I talk to my other family and they think that it's a bad idea that I'm living with her in this household. It's so toxic and it really has changed me. Every night I cry missing my dad and my Nana because that was the only people I could really run to. It was at a point to where I was suicidal..cutting myself. I made the dumb mistake of losing my virginity and my mother holds that against me.. She calls me a slut, and that I'm disgusting, and all these other names. She yells at me for the one bad thing I did but she's steady talking to me about it, talking about pills that make guys better at sex and how she has sex with Kris and all this other stuff. She yells at me for the littlest thing like losing a pin tack, she calls me a dumb b****, and names like that. This isn't even all of everything I go through but that's enough for now. I'm very mature and I can handle my own. I've talked to my really good friend who I knew since I was like 9. I'm turning 15 next year and he's turning 17 next year. He was a runaway himself and his parent (his dad) who passed away never called the cops because he wanted him to just be free and let him do whatever was gonna help him be better. He has his own room and everything that his mother got for him. He thinks it's a good idea if I stayed with him, he would have a roof over my head, he could even get me a little job so I'm able to support myself financially. I have a plan to run away and go to LA to him. Get a little job and prove to myself that I'm able to support myself, then I could go file a petition for emancipation and see where it goes from there. I would still like to go to school and get my education. I think this is a better choice for me than staying with any of my family because everything is gonna stay the same no matter what. Nothing changes no matter what I do. I just need time to get away for good, and maybe I will think about coming back to see my family. I do have some questions so I hope you can answer these for me...
- If my mother doesn't file a missing or runaway report for me would the police still be after me?
- Would I still be able to attend school as a runaway if my mother doesn't file a missing person report? And how would I be able to without my parent's signature?
- Would I need a lawyer to try and get emancipated?
- Can runaways get jobs?
That's all for now, please respond as soon as possible, thank you!
- If my mother doesn't file a missing or runaway report for me would the police still be after me?
- Would I still be able to attend school as a runaway if my mother doesn't file a missing person report? And how would I be able to without my parent's signature?
- Would I need a lawyer to try and get emancipated?
- Can runaways get jobs?
That's all for now, please respond as soon as possible, thank you!
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