Unsure What To Do.

[Guest]

Today I had a bad conversation with my dad. I haven't been dealing with high school very well (Senior Year) and I've been really stressing over grades and thinking I won't be able to pass.

I planned on not going to school today but was instead forced to by him, which was already a bad start because I knew I wasn't going to really go to my classes. I got home and as usually the school tells you when a student misses their classes. Well, he didn't like that I took a mental health day which is understandable because I have 22 absents from there.

I told him that mentally I wasn't feeling okay today and he just went ballistic. I told him about how I felt depressed any time I was in class because my teacher's put lots of pressure on me to get everything right and always threaten that my future won't be good if I don't pass their classes. I told him how I didn't feel myself at school, that I just wanted to sleep my pain away lately, and that I just needed his moral support to get through it. He told me if I felt like hurting myself that I should just do it because he's tired of the dramatic things I say. He told me to move out and waste my life rotting on the street..

I know he didn't mean it that way but it just hurt.. I feel so invalidated in this house but I have no where else to go.. I don't want to burden my boyfriend's family.. it just doesn't seem right. Am I doing something wrong? Is it my fault?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. It is understandable to feel like your feelings are being invalidated when your dad responds like that. It seems like you are under a lot of pressure by your teachers and dad who seem like they believe they are helping but it just adds to your stress. You still don’t deserve to be told you aren’t worth their support and will end up on the streets just because of bad grades. To be clear while you do have the power to improve your grades, your feelings of depression and wanting to procrastinate and push off school work more is natural and not your fault. There might be some things you can do to change your perspective on things and make the stress more manageable, and the same goes for your dad and teachers.
The first thing that might help is to talk to a school counselor, doctor, or therapist about your feelings, regardless of what is causing them. Depression can be difficult to overcome on your own and crippling when it comes to classes and schoolwork. You deserve support through that, not to be called lazy and have the pressure increased. www.nami.org is a good resource as well to learn more about mental health and coping mechanisms to help yourself through this difficult time.
We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe, NRS