COURT and runaway

[Guest]

hi. im 15.
i live with my dad and my stepmom and 2 brothers. they are younger and my stepmom has been in my life ever since i can rememeber.
i have always lived with my mom and my half sister for my whole life.. one day about 10 months ago my mom had a mental breakdown. she has always had problems but she just lost it completely and got on this hype about taking my sister and leaving. my sister is 4. so my mom elaborately planned out leaving and they left. she told me and my grandma and left me with my grandma because i told her that i did not want to go. and she knew that i wouldnt want to go live with my father. but she never made anything legal.
i had only seen my dad every other weekend for 15 years so i didnt really know him THAT well. and i was SO intimidated by him. but i swore he was always on my side.

well after my mom left. my dad stepped in about a week later and said "no youre coming with me, theres no way that youre goign to lvie with your grandma" (they dont like eachtother)
so i went for it, trying not to cause a problem i just went along with my dad. i moved and uprooted my entire life and still managed to get settled in and keep a good head on my shoulders. i didnt get in trouble at my new school and i pulled downa 4.0gpa all by myself.
in the beginning of living with my dad he made it sound llike it was going to be all dandy. but shortly after i moved in and he made it official and leagal for me to be in his custody. he started to change...
true colors started to show.
my dad: is up at work ALLL week so i live with my stepmom basically and he's never really here durning the week.
he comes home on the weekends and when he does ... we all duck and run.
he isnt physically abusive but he screams and yealls and verbally abuses my stepmom,brother, and i. it never ends!
he tells my brother that he is an idiot and cant do anything right
he tells me that i have no friends and that im stupid and naieve...'
my stepmom wants to divorce him but she cant because they just built a house and are waiting for it to sell. but once it does., she has told me that she will be gone.



well in march of this year my mom got caught and dragged back to california on a "kidnapping charge" for taking my sister even though she was in her custody. my mom went to jail for about a month and then got out on probation. she is healthy now and lives with her boyfriend. but i still havent gotten to see her in 10 months. a few texts and thats it. my dad frobids me to speak to her. shes my mom. and i have no-one but my grandma. my grandma is the only person who has been here for me through this whole chaotic mess.
she's always been my safeharbor though. but my dad hates her and rarely lets me see her. i talk to her breifly EVERYday and i get to go see her about once a month. my dad had been letting me see her more often because mediation is coming up. my mom wants custody. mediation is on september 3rd and i dont want to live with either one of my parents. i CANT take living with my dad, he is abusive and has cut me off of everyone that i love and i cannot trust my mother to make the right decisions for me. i need the court to let me go live with my grandma. but im scared that they wont let me. if they dont then can i runaway to her house. if so what will happen?

[ccsmod2]

Re: COURT and runaway

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time right now and we’re glad that you have chosen to reach out to us. We can’t give you any advice or legal guidance but we can try to point you in the right direction.

It can be really difficult to change your whole life and to start a new school. It sounds like you did a good job, especially by having a 4.0 GPA. Congratulations on that; it’s a difficult thing to do. We’re sorry to hear that while you are doing so well, your dad is making things harder for you. Nobody deserves to feel unsafe in their home. One thing that you may be able to do is file a report with Child Protective Services. You can contact them and explain what is going on at home; then they would be able to tell you what assistance they may be able to offer you.

It seems like you have a good relationship with your stepmom and grandma. It’s important to have people who will support you through difficult times. Have you had a chance to talk to her or your parents about custodial rights? What do they think? You said that there is a mediation on September 3rd; will you have a chance to talk with a judge about how you are feeling?

If the courts don’t let you go to your grandma and you do run away, there are a few things that may happen. If either of your parents files a runaway report, then you may be listed in the NCIC. This is a database of youth who have been filed as runaways and it is nationwide. If the police were to stop you and run your information, it would come back that you were listed as a runaway. They would then contact your custodial parent to let them know you had been found and make arrangements for you to return home.

Also, if your parents knew where you were, they may have the option to charge your grandma with harboring a runaway or contributing to the delinquency of a minor. I can’t tell you specifically what would happen after that; you can contact the local police department and they would be able to tell you.

I hope that I’ve been able to answer some of your questions. If you have any others or need any resources, please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and our calls are completely confidential and anonymous.

Good Luck!
~NRS

[Guest]

Re: COURT and runaway

yes i will have a chance to talk to a mediatior. but the only other place that they could place me that i would be happy and safe in would be my grandma but im still scared that they wont do that. i just want to be happy and safe. thats not much to ask for.. i dont think...


if i call cps do you know what they would do? i mean i didnt know that verbal abuse would be taken seriously. because its not just something he does when hes mad. he does it all the time and then acts perfect in front of everyone else...

im just so confused and done with it all...

[ccsmod1]

Re: COURT and runaway

Thanks for writing back. It's probably really frustrating not knowing what's going to happen with the courts.

You're right that you deserve to be happy and feel safe. We're so sorry that you're going through all this. One agency that may be able to answer some of your questions concerning what CPS would do about verbal abuse is called Child Help USA. They're a confidential crisis hotline for child abuse. They can be reached 24 hours a day at 1-800-422-4453. They also have a website www.childhelp.org. They don't actually take reports, but may be able to offer you information on what CPS can do about verbal abuse.

We'd be more than happy to talk to you more in depth about any of this. Someone is here 24/7. Even though you feel confused and frustrated, know you're not alone. There are people out there that care and want to help. We're not able to tell you what to do or assist you in moving elsewhere, but we can certainly talk to you about how you're feeling and possible options. We look forward to hearing from you!