Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Feeling hopeless, don't know what to do. Please help...

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Feeling hopeless, don't know what to do. Please help...

    I didn't know if it was the right thing to do to post here. I'm scared, honestly, and right now I feel so alone. I'm writing from a school computer, hoping to get some good news. I'm a 14-year-old trans man, and I think I want to run away, but I'm terrified. I don't know if my mom's abusive or if I'm just being angsty, but this feels way too off. That's what she always says. I don't know what to do. It's literally the scariest, most lonely thing I've ever been through, and I don't know what to do. I'm in fear she'll harm me or my boyfriend by outing him (he's also trans) to his mother. She's done some awful things, and my dad just doesn't make me feel all that loved or cared for, though his case is lesser.
    Since I've been about 9 my parents' treatment of me is shifting. My mother is less forgiving, which makes sense. I'm a teenager. There's less room for error. It just doesn't feel normal. She degrades me though criticizes me for feeling bad about myself. I don't enjoy my time, she makes me feel horrible for who I am, and after snooping through my phone she's disgusted with who I am and the way I express myself. She refuses to get me therapy because she says I only cut and feel bad about myself for attention. She makes me feel unwanted and unappreciated and I feel ridiculed for everything. She's thrown diapers into my bath and made me clean up things while I'm sick. She's screamed at me and taken out her anger on innocent people, including my cats, who she throws outside and neglects to care for. I feel unsafe and I don't know if I'm just being overdramatic. I'm scared, I feel like she will hurt me because she refuses to see herself as anything other than a perfect parent. Am I in the wrong? What do I do? I need to get out of her but I feel like I'll make things worse, like my boyfriend may be endangered further and my cats may experience worse treatment. Please, anything helps. I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to put this.
    Thank you for reading.

  • #2

    Thank you for reaching out to us. It seems like things have been difficult at home for awhile, and we are sorry to hear that you are going through that. You sound like a bright, caring person and you deserve to be treated respectfully.

    It sounds like your mother is treating you poorly and unfairly. While you are right that parents often set clearer boundaries for teenagers, there is a difference between that and what you are describing, which is hurtful behavior by your mom and is not normal. Home should be a safe, comfortable space, and it sounds like you aren’t getting that right now. You mentioned your gender identity, and feeling scared that your mom would out your boyfriend. One good resource to check out is The Trevor Project (www.TheTrevorProject.org), which specializes in helping LGBTQ youth. You also mentioned wanting to seek therapy for cutting. It is good to want to take care of yourself even when your mom is not supportive. One option would be to seek help from a trusted adult like a school counselor or teacher. It’s natural to be nervous about how your mom would react, but ultimately you cannot control her actions, you can only do the right thing for yourself. Another good resource you may want to look into is the following website, which addresses self-harm: www.twloha.com

    It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we appreciate you contacting us. You deserve to be treated well and to be in a comfortable environment. Feel free to reach out to us by phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via the chat button on our website: www.1800runaway.org. We are here 24/7 and hope to hear from you soon!

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment

    Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
    Auto-Saved
    x
    Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
    x
    x
    Working...
    X