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I don't know what i should do..

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  • I don't know what i should do..

    i'm living in a quite toxic, neglective and somewhat abusive household, i always get blamed for everything and even when i'm bed-ridden sick,, they force me to do everything and then when i ask to help, i get in trouble and get told i'm ''too hard to manage'', get yelled at, and forced into my room. i've started liking alcohol when they leave it out and yet they threaten me, i've been hit, and all that before. and i'm being forced to do stuff for my sister so she doesn't expose i've been talking to others about it and seeking help (i think this is blackmail, please correct me if it isn't), and i feel like living here is dangerous, a list of things that have happened (just to confirm) are...

    -being yelled at for no reason and then getting a fake reason made up
    -get told i'm being dramatic and ignored
    -when i spoke about my depression, cutting and suicidal abilities, i get told i'm being childish and i have no reason to be depressed/suicidal
    -been threatened at abuse-point many times
    -was forced into size 9 shoes (i'm size 11-13)
    -was hit because my sister purposely jammed her fingers into my door and blamed me
    -currently being threatened by my sister and getting told ''i'm only doing this to protect you'' or ''well someone has to protect you if you can't protect yourself''
    -have to put stuff against the bathroom door when i shower because my parents (and sometimes, sister) open the door when i do and don't close it
    -being manipulated by them all and forced to take sides
    -get called selfish and asked why i can do anything to help them
    -and so much more

    i don't know what to do and want help, but i'm scared they'll find it

  • #2
    Hey there. Thanks for contacting NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It sounds like things with your family have been pretty tough, and we're sorry to hear that.

    Because you mentioned being hit and having some ongoing issues with your sister and her physically hurting you, it might be a good idea to reach out to Child Protective Services and file an abuse report. Their job is to ensure that you're safe in your home, and if you're not, to decide what steps should be taken in order to make sure that you are. If this is something that you're interested in doing, you can file a report on your own, by contacting us here at NRS for support, or by telling a safe person of the abuse (like a teacher, school counselor, therapist, etc.). Each person that I've listed is considered a Mandated Reporter and has a legal obligation to contact CPS when there are any suspicions or indications of abuse. We understand that moving forward in this process can be scary, but want you to know that your safety is critical. These are folks who will prioritize that. If you have any questions about filing a report, what it entails, or would like to learn more about child abuse in general, Childhelp is another great resource to utilize. They're a child abuse hotline and you can reach out to them by texting or calling 1-800-422-4453, or by chatting with them live at www.childhelp.org.

    It's also clear that you're having some issues with other things going on at home, like feeling manipulated and maybe lacking some boundaries. As you continue to think things through, it might be helpful for you to consider looking into therapy. Having a support system in place to help when things are feeling really heavy and overwhelming can really be beneficial in repairing relationships, but also in working on and healing ourselves individually. A therapist can also help you develop some of the tools needed to address some of the issues you're having with your family, or even help facilitate those conversations so that you feel comfortable and supported throughout. If this is something you're open to, a good starting point in finding a therapist is to reach out to your school counselor or social worker. Sometimes you can see them for a few sessions before looping your parents in, and they can also help advocate for you to maintain ongoing services if your parents are hesitant about letting you see a mental health professional.

    If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

    Take care.

    NRS

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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