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I’m 19 and don’t know how to escape my mom

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  • I’m 19 and don’t know how to escape my mom

    I am a 19 transgender male. For the last 6 years I’ve been almost completely isolated, having dropped out of school in grade 9. I have no income, no schooling and am stuck with a mother who is mentally unstable. She was abusive and neglectful to me until around age 12, when things got a little better. She’s not physically abusive, she covers the costs for my medication (which I would never be able to afford on my own) and she doesn’t even yell anymore.

    However at the same time she’s always used me as free therapy, (because she refuses to go to actual therapy) she’ll come into my room to smoke weed (a habit which she got me into at 12 years old) and talk about all her problems. She’s told me multiple times that she’d kill herself if she didn’t have me or my younger brother with her. It feels like she’s been using me as a crutch to keep herself going for years now. She doesn’t act like a parent at all. I’ve gone 3 days without food once so that my brother had food. I don’t want to deal with this anymore, I feel like a monster and a brat for crying out like this but I want to be free so badly.

    if I leave she might hurt herself, or she might start piling her baggage onto my brother instead of me. I have no support from my extended family or my other parent and siblings, I don’t have friends either. I just want to give my brother a better life but I don’t know how.

    Sorry for this novel of a post, any advice is greatly appreciated.

  • #2

    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. NAMI is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services. You can call them at 1800-950-NAMI or text them NAMI at 741741. They can provide great support for both you and your brother.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. We can also help you look for places to stay if you would like as well. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe and stay strong,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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