My family makes me suicidal

[Guest]

I'm nearly 14 and I have lived in a toxic family dynamic for most of my life. My sisters and I have so many fights, and it's not just sibling rivalry, they're actually abusing me. They know I'm suicidal so they tell me to kill myself frequently. They know I have suffered with an ed so they call me fat and tell me to stop eating. Listening to their words has put my life in danger so many times. Both my parents have severe anger issues, that they take out purely on me. If I make a simple mistake like leaving a sock on the floor, my mum will yell at me for hours. Sometimes she says hurtful things to me like I'll get no where in life and I suck all the happiness out of her life. My dad often calls me names like "psycho" "mentally ill" "psycotic" and says I belong in a loon bin or a padded cell. He says I'm lazy and useless because I feel unmotivated due to how sad I am. Sometimes he gets very aggressive and threatens me. Occasionally both my parents might physically hurt me. Often my sisters do too if I do one simple thing to annoy them without even meaning too. My parents both prefer my sisters and have no problem expressing that around me. Once my mum even admitted it to me. I know my situation isnt awful and others have it worse but I honestly just want to feel loved. My parents say if I leave then I'll have a worse life in care and I honestly agree with them, but I hate staying too. I also dont want more stress on the family because my nana who is my favourite person has cancer and everyone's all ready upset. I dont know what to do. I'm so used to this house and family that I cant imagine leaving, but I know I'm not safe and loved here. Several times my family have made me suicidal. I just wanted to rant. I'm not sure what options I have.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thank you for sharing some of what you are going through. You absolutely don't deserve the sort of trauma and abuse your family is inflicting on you. Please know that it is NOT your fault. You deserve to be respected, cared for, and loved, and it's very unfortunate that you aren't getting your needs met at this time.

Suicide is quite serious and we do hope that you will reach out for help and stay safe. Perhaps there is a person you trust that you can confide in: a teacher, school counselor, another relative, or even the parent of a friend. Getting help is so important and most people gain a new perspective on things and find strength when they are able to open up their feelings to another person. We do hope you will consider this. Of course, if you are in immediate danger, we hope you dial the local emergency number for direct assistance. As for the abuse you are undergoing, you may want to consider getting help for that as well, even perhaps making an abuse report about what's going on.

Your IP address indicates you are writing from Australia, so we are limited in what services we would be able to provide for you. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States and we are only familiar with US laws and resources. With that said, we have located a few Australian resources that you can reach out to for help:

Lifeline Austrailia:

https://www.lifeline.org.au/ phone: 13 11 14 or dial 000 for emergency

Here is a webpage that lists numerous agencies and helplines that assist young people:

https://aifs.gov.au/cfca/publication...ral%20services.

We hope you can reach out to any of the above agencies for help, or even just to vent. If we are in error and you are located in the United States please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via the chat feature on our website: www.1800runaway.org

Please stay safe. Things can get better, especially if you reach out for help.

All the best,
NRS