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Are my feelings valid, or am I just being unreasonable?

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  • Are my feelings valid, or am I just being unreasonable?

    Hi everybody. So, I've had something on my mind for a few months, and I wanted to see if I was wrong. I'm a 17-year-old male, and I have been having trouble with my parents' decisions and their remarks. For some context: My mom has recently switched careers, so she has been working really hard for about a year building her business. My dad is a freelancer who works hard from home, so he's normally in his "office" in the house. My parents decided that since I was a good student, getting all A's in middle and high school, that it was a good idea to put me in dual-enrollment classes at the local high school. So currently, my school schedule consists of three college-level courses and two high school courses. This change in classes has really changed my schedule around, requiring me to work from the early morning to around dinnertime. Since I am a virtual student, not needing to go in person, I am in charge of taking one of my siblings to school in the morning, taking care of my younger siblings (they're homeschooled), and picking my sibling back up in the afternoons. The rest of my day is spent working on school. Now, I want to reiterate, I am very grateful to my parents for working so hard and doing their best for me and my siblings, so I do not want this to be a blast about that. What's been happening is that due to my change in schedule, I have been trying to work really hard during the day so that I can have some time after dinner for leisure. Apparently, my parents think that all I do is spend my time watching videos or playing games on my computer, so they always tell me to get off when I've been working for the vast majority of the day. I've been told that I am lazy and unmotivated because I spend my leisure time the way I want to, and it's really hurtful when all you've been doing in the day is do work that they placed onto me. I've had days where my mom comes home, and she tells me that I should have done more around the house. The problem with that is that I can not leave my computer during the day, due to my classes not being virtual-friendly (I literally have 5 minutes of lunch during the day). I have had to do work on the weekends due to my larger schedule, and this has really annoyed my parents. There will be times where I'll have to go into my room to do school work and miss out on family time, and all my parents say is that "it's really convenient that you always have schoolwork during these times" when I've been working on that work for multiple hours prior to her telling me this. Now, this is troubling to me because I did not choose to have this much work, it was my parents' idea in the first place to enroll me in dual-enrollment courses. I don't feel comfortable talking to them about it, because it always inevitably becomes a two-hour conversation where I only get 15 minutes of actual talking, so I never feel like they listen or understand where I am coming from. I do not want to be a jerk or "the bad guy", so am I wrong in thinking these things?

  • #2
    Hello There,
    Thank you so much for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now, and we want you to know that you are not alone.
    Your feelings are completely valid, and anyone who was in your situation would be feeling the same and be feeling overwhelmed. It seems like you do not have much time for anything but school work, which is unfair. One option to consider is to talk with a school counselor about how you are feeling stressed with the school work and balancing everything. They may be able to change your schedule or at least give you extra time for lunch or assignments. We know you mentioned not wanting to talk to your parents about this and that is completely understandable. You could see if they can limit your responsibilities so that way you have more time for school work during the day. Also sometimes having a planner may help you stay organized and set times for when to do tasks.
    We hope that this information will help you in your situation. If you have any other questions or need someone to talk to we are here 24/7. Your feelings are valid and we understand you. We wish you the best of luck!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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