I'm 17 and I need mayor help

[Guest]

This is going to be pretty long but i will try to shorten it out. I am 17 years old and I am dating a guy who is 17 years old too. me and him have been dating for 6 months. I don't work yet but i have always looked for a job. even though its a little hard to since i don't have a social security. I am in high school and I'm a junior, I only have 1 year left.my mother did not accept my relationship with my boyfriend 3 months ago. We moved past it. A week ago she found out me and him still date and she even read some of my messages with him. She found out I wanted to live with my boyfriend as soon as I turned 18 so she can't go after me. She also found out i had sexual relations with him and that he used to come over to my house. It's been a really hard week mentally, she doesn't talk to me and she calling me names and completely ignoring me. She took my phone and i really don't mind that because i have my computer but it would be more helpful to have my phone so i can find a job. The way she's been treating me has had an impact on me. Now i don't wanna get up, i dont wanna eat, and all i wanna do is sleep and not wake up. It's been really hard. She says she won't help me financially and she's said I can leave. I'm looking for a job, one that accepts ITIN because I don't have a Social Security. Today she talked to me and told me that she was going to try to get him arrested. She claims she can arrest him for coming over to my house while my sister was still in the house. She claims that he can be arrested for coming over to my house, while my sister was here and she was out. Is that possible? Can that really happen? She says that she will find all of his information about him from facebook and she will look for him and call the police. What steps can I take so that my boyfriend won't be found by my mom? Is it possible to find someones house from their Facebook account?

[ccsmod3]

Hey there. Thanks for contacting NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

It sounds like things with mom have been pretty tough lately, and we're sorry to hear that. Because we're not experts of the law and all of the nuances that come with it, we can't say with 100% certainty that mom can/cannot have your boyfriend arrested for being in the home while she was gone. Because you're a member of the home and let him in, it shouldn't be an issue. However, if you want to find a firm answer to that, it might be helpful for you to reach out to the non-emergency number for police in your area. They might be able to answer that question with a little more detail than we are able to here.

That said, tracking down more detailed information online on someone is certainly possible. Your mom might try to find out more information from his social media accounts, particularly by visiting the pages of any friends or family members that he has tagged or have tagged him. If his family's address is public and mom is able to find out who his parents are, it's definitely possible that she can figure a few things out. If this is something you and your boyfriend want to avoid, it might be helpful for him to make sure his page is completely private--posts, pictures he's tagged in, pictures he's shared, who he lists on his page as apart of his family, etc.

We know you have a lot going on right now, and that it likely feels incredibly overwhelming. If you'd like to chat in more detail about everything, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live through our website at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

Take care.

NRS