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  • In dire need of help

    Hi. My favorite color is yellow. There now you know something about me. That felt important. I am 17. I will be turning 18 in exactly 38 days. My parents and I have never gotten along. I am the middle child. A perfect picture of one. I am often overlooked. Being a middle child with very strict parents is really hard. All I want is a normal teenage life. I swear, this isn't another snotty teen begging for attention. I realize that other kids have had it worse. I also realize that my situation is not optimal as well, though. See, my parents and I have a long complicated history. Ever since I was little, I have been getting into trouble. Basic, normal kid trouble but trouble nonetheless. I was never able to be social like I wanted. My parents never let me have friends over or go to other friends' houses. I was never able to have a phone because I got grounded for weeks if I did even the smallest thing like fold the laundry wrong or forget to load the dishwasher. My parents seriously stunted my development as a child. Even now, I am applying to college and they REFUSE to do the basic things to help me with the process. I am completely alone in this. I am so tired of being alone. I happen to struggle with mental illness. I have severe depression. The thing is, my parents hold it against me and threaten me with repercussions for it. I have been sent to the local mental hospital. There, I witnessed my roommate try to kill herself and had to stop another girl from biting through her wrists. My parents know this and threaten to send me back when I mess up. This makes me feel so alone. Remember when I said that I'm not allowed to have anyone over? Yeah well, I went against the rules. I own up to that. I recognize this. I invited my bf over until my parents got off of work. My dad got home early while my bf and I were arguing. We panicked and I shoved him in my closet. My dad came in and of course, opened the closet. It went all downhill from there. My dad threatened to shoot my bf. I yelled at my dad for the first time in my entire life. I told him not to lay a hand on my bf. My dad then hit me. Several times. (There aren't any bruises for proof sadly). My bf looked like he wanted to do something but had enough smarts not to step in. My dad then turned on my bf and told him to leave or the same would happen to him. He then threatened to send me back to the mental hospital. Said he had the old suicide letters that I wrote like a whole year ago. Said he was going to lie to the people and say it was written within the past few days. Then my momma got home after my dad and I yelled some more (he said he never thought he could hate a child until he had me) and he yanked me up by my hair and backhanded me so hard that I couldn't hear anything but ringing in my ear for like 15 minutes. She told me to get out of her house and never speak to her again. She called me a slut. For no reason. She assumed the worst. I gave her a hurt/ confused look and she slapped me like 5 or 6 times. She then kicked me while I was on the ground told me to move. It wasn't a hard kick, really. I believe it was mostly out of spite. They then told me I have until my 18th birthday (38 days) to find a place. They said I am not allowed to stay with any family or they will cut off that entire branch of the family. I feel as though I have no place to go. The timeline for an 18th bday is supposed to be a countdown for freedom, not this. I am no longer allowed inside my house other than to sleep at night. It is freezing outside. Not to mention, going to college under this circumstance will be nearly impossible. My whole life mission down the drain. I am now alone again and miserable. I am so lost. I have no idea where to go or what to do. I have wanted to leave this situation since I was little. I never imagined in a million years that it would happen this way. The worst part is that it is all my fault. I have considered just running away because living in these conditions for over a month will be nearly impossible with my mental health. I need help. I fear that without it, I will definitely not make it to my 18th birthday alive. I can't take it. That's not a threat, it is fear. My question is: what now?

  • #2
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out, we know that it takes a lot of courage to do so! It sounds like you are in a very perilous spot right now and it makes sense that you would be fearful and uncertain of what your next steps will be. It sounds like living with your parents has never been easy and you had to witness some very traumatic events when in the hospital. It must have been difficult to be so isolated from friends for so long. Your parents' physical abuse is unacceptable and you do not deserve to be treated that way! Your parents' actions are not your fault, they alone are responsible for their actions. If you are currently at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

    You mentioned some concerns about where you will live when you turn 18. You may want to discuss this situation with outside family members, they could potentially be OK with severing ties with your dad if it means that you will be safe! You can also speak with friends or your boyfriend about staying with them. If you find yourself in need of emergency shelter you can check out https://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/ to find shelters near you.

    It's totally understandable that this kind of mistreatment would lead to some depression (as well as former thoughts of suicide). It can be really hard to live with mental health issues and we want you to know that you aren’t alone in addressing them. If you’d like some additional support, an organization that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). You can contact them by calling 1-800-950-NAMI or you can text them by sending NAMI to 741741. Another agency that could be of great help is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), they can help you locate low or no cost mental health care providers in your area. Their number is 1-800-662-4357 or you can go to their site at samhsa.gov.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Stay safe,
    NRS


    We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
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    Comment


    • #3
      Would it be possible to move out next Thursday? Next Thursday I will be 7 days away from being 18. Would I get the people who are taking me in in trouble? I looked up the laws in Louisiana and it seems that moving out at 17 isn't fully illegal. Do you know if there is any truth in that?

      Comment


      • ccsmod8
        ccsmod8 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there –

        Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It must be really hard to feel like you have to run with just a week left before turning 18.

        Now we aren't legal experts here and you might have already read on this forum thread about what could happen if you were to leave home before the age of majority. So we won’t get into that since you can find it fairly easily. They might not spend too much resources and time trying to locate you in order to bring you back home. We haven't heard of anyone being dragged away by the police. From what we hear is that they can ask you to come home and nothing else, but like we said we can't say for sure that is how even officer is going to respond.

        If you have a specific question that you can't find the answer to on any of these threads or maybe find a place to vent about what you are feeling right now, you can always call us. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on.

        Best of luck!
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