I want to run away.

[Guest]

Ok. I'm 12. I've recently had some problems with my parents, school, everything. I wanted to resort to some sort of suicide but I've decided its best not to. However..... running away, huh? My mom is always one to blow up and people, and when my dad gets in trouble, he blames it on me, and singles out on me along with my mother. We were ice skating and then I found out my mom damaged the ice skates because she wanted to smoke a cigarette, I went, "Why did you go out with them?! You damaged the skates!" then she got mad and said "We're leaving. F*ck you." I was disgusted. My dad hollered at me for making us leave. The whole ride I wasn't allowed to talk to my dad or mom. Last time I did my mom smacked the living h*ll out of me. She's mentally and rarely physically abusive. I can admit it, I can be rude at times, but they don't treat their kid like that. Now I want to leave this place. I know running away doesn't play out as it does in my mind, I have to think everything through. I don't want to be kidnapped or some sort. I do not have my phone or airpods since my parents took them. I hate this h*ll hole. I just want to have new parents.

School is just so annoying. It created my anxiety, along with depression, which my parents don't know about. (Even if I told them I had depression, they'd laugh and say its a phase.) School pressures me so much every night and I can't do it anymore. It's scary. I have no friends due to online school, and all my old friends left me. I only have myself nowadays, and online friends. Don't even trust my parents.

I really hope my parents don't find this post, as respect my privacy. This is serious to me.

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum. Hopefully by giving you support during your crisis, there are others that are reading this thread that can feel comfortable reaching out as well. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on.

We do want to say that it must be very hard for you to have to go through all of this. It sounds like a very stressful situation for you at home to the point where your thoughts drift towards completing suicide or hurting yourself. That is a very serious thing to be thinking about. You shouldn't be afraid to tell other people what you are thinking about doing especially if you are thinking about hurting yourself. You are certainly not alone in this and there are many many people that are here to help you. A good resource might be to call the ‘National Suicide Hotline’ for someone to talk about what thoughts you might be thinking at the time. Their number is 800.273.TALK. They also have an online chat service that might be of help to you especially if you don’t feel like calling in (https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/).

It sounds like you might some specific questions that you want to ask us or maybe find a place to vent about what you are feeling right now. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. We don’t ask for any identifying information, unless you want to report any abuse.

Now we do offer a service that is basically a Conference Call where the parent/guardian, the youth, and us would be on the phone talking about what has been going on. This way there can be a mediator in between keeping things calm and productive. If you’d feel more comfortable with doing that, just know that it’s always available. It might be a great way to talk about what you are going through and where this feelings might be coming from or to maybe build on your relationship and make it better. Something constructive so that it certainly opens the lines of communication, but that services is completely up to you.

We certainly want to help you.