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Abuse...
Hi I'm ***** but I go by *****, This is gonna be a bit long so please stay and read because I really need help.
Growing up my parents where really abusive, they would beat me nearly to death. My dad once threw me across the room when I was 5 and I almost died that day. Me and my 2 sisters got taken from our home 3 times and children services said the 4th time would be permanent. So the abuse became mental. And as someone who has been beaten, Mental abuse is way worse then psychical because at least scars heal.
growing up in PA I had a pretty decent family size. I had alot of support until my grandma died of cancer, uncle flipped off a cliff, aunt killed herself and let me tell you she was like my mother she was everything to me and losing her broke me. My family abused her until she couldn't take the pain anymore. Everyone I loved died and I was stuck with my abusive parents. We moved all around the country and I never got to stick in 1 place and make friends. We finally moved to Georgia and have been here for a long time. I've grown old enough to know I'm being abused and I've tried so hard to get out but I can't I'm stuck here and it's driving me mentally insane. I've tried to kill myself countless times and it never worked, I always cowered myself out of it thinking someday It'll all be ok when it continues to get worse. My older sister moved out at 17 and she experienced the same amount of abuse, she almost successfully killed herself a few years back and it was a really hard experience to go through. My uncle lived with us for years and when i was a toddler he molested me and my older sister and when we told our parents they called us liars. Until it happened last year in July to my little sister they then believed us when it was too late. They only let him live with us because he paid them when it was obvious he was a pervert cause he would always stare at our body parts and etc. My parents always call me a **********, a whore, a loser, a retard, they say how I'm just like my older sister, they hate her because she left and called them out on the crap they do. I wanna tell them how mentally abusive they are but they say all kinds of mean things back. When I tell them I wanna kill myself they just say " Do it then since you keep talking about it." I turn 18 in 4 months and I'm not allowed to have a phone, on Christmas my dad got my little sister a tv and me nothing.
my dad came home oneday with rona and coughed in my face saying " I might have corona by the way" and I ended up getting it. I was promised a PC for years and nothing has happened. I'm a gamer and its a really good escape for me, I feel free and happy playing games, I feel safe and calm. They know that so they don't want me having it. My dad is extremely abusive and always puts me down. He says if i continue to piss him of he'll beat me because he's a force not to be reckoned with. He turns the internet off every night at 11, he doesn't let me hangout with my friends, doesn't let me date, I wanted to do online school because I have a thyroid disorder and heart pains and I constantly feel like I'm going to faint and sometimes my vision goes black and I lose breath. He constantly comes into my room without knocking, he always says I'm a **********, he always wishes he never had me, he says when I'm 18 I cant leave since I'm still in school. He's controlling me so much I can't breathe and I have literally 4 months left until I can leave but I can't take it anymore I am going to kill myself and I can't stop the thoughts or the pain or the tears. My father is going to be the death of me and I'm tired of no one doing anything to help me. I feel alone like no adult will take me away from this hell. I'm sick of this there is so much I can tell you about my father but I feel it's useless. I just want to be taken out of here. I should have a right children should have a right to make a choice of the house they live in. People need to quit looking at the parents and start looking at the children because we are legit trapped in a hell and no one cares. If a child says living with their parents makes them suicidal then something should be done about it. I just want to be gone I want to feel like a person I want to finally smile without being in fear of it.
Growing up my parents where really abusive, they would beat me nearly to death. My dad once threw me across the room when I was 5 and I almost died that day. Me and my 2 sisters got taken from our home 3 times and children services said the 4th time would be permanent. So the abuse became mental. And as someone who has been beaten, Mental abuse is way worse then psychical because at least scars heal.
growing up in PA I had a pretty decent family size. I had alot of support until my grandma died of cancer, uncle flipped off a cliff, aunt killed herself and let me tell you she was like my mother she was everything to me and losing her broke me. My family abused her until she couldn't take the pain anymore. Everyone I loved died and I was stuck with my abusive parents. We moved all around the country and I never got to stick in 1 place and make friends. We finally moved to Georgia and have been here for a long time. I've grown old enough to know I'm being abused and I've tried so hard to get out but I can't I'm stuck here and it's driving me mentally insane. I've tried to kill myself countless times and it never worked, I always cowered myself out of it thinking someday It'll all be ok when it continues to get worse. My older sister moved out at 17 and she experienced the same amount of abuse, she almost successfully killed herself a few years back and it was a really hard experience to go through. My uncle lived with us for years and when i was a toddler he molested me and my older sister and when we told our parents they called us liars. Until it happened last year in July to my little sister they then believed us when it was too late. They only let him live with us because he paid them when it was obvious he was a pervert cause he would always stare at our body parts and etc. My parents always call me a **********, a whore, a loser, a retard, they say how I'm just like my older sister, they hate her because she left and called them out on the crap they do. I wanna tell them how mentally abusive they are but they say all kinds of mean things back. When I tell them I wanna kill myself they just say " Do it then since you keep talking about it." I turn 18 in 4 months and I'm not allowed to have a phone, on Christmas my dad got my little sister a tv and me nothing.
my dad came home oneday with rona and coughed in my face saying " I might have corona by the way" and I ended up getting it. I was promised a PC for years and nothing has happened. I'm a gamer and its a really good escape for me, I feel free and happy playing games, I feel safe and calm. They know that so they don't want me having it. My dad is extremely abusive and always puts me down. He says if i continue to piss him of he'll beat me because he's a force not to be reckoned with. He turns the internet off every night at 11, he doesn't let me hangout with my friends, doesn't let me date, I wanted to do online school because I have a thyroid disorder and heart pains and I constantly feel like I'm going to faint and sometimes my vision goes black and I lose breath. He constantly comes into my room without knocking, he always says I'm a **********, he always wishes he never had me, he says when I'm 18 I cant leave since I'm still in school. He's controlling me so much I can't breathe and I have literally 4 months left until I can leave but I can't take it anymore I am going to kill myself and I can't stop the thoughts or the pain or the tears. My father is going to be the death of me and I'm tired of no one doing anything to help me. I feel alone like no adult will take me away from this hell. I'm sick of this there is so much I can tell you about my father but I feel it's useless. I just want to be taken out of here. I should have a right children should have a right to make a choice of the house they live in. People need to quit looking at the parents and start looking at the children because we are legit trapped in a hell and no one cares. If a child says living with their parents makes them suicidal then something should be done about it. I just want to be gone I want to feel like a person I want to finally smile without being in fear of it.
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