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Help I’m LGBT and my parents are religious and unsupportive. I am planning to runaway

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  • Help I’m LGBT and my parents are religious and unsupportive. I am planning to runaway

    I came out to my parents 2 years ago and ever since they have done things such as gaslight me, tell me I am insane, try to get me exorcised after saying that I am possessed by the devil, threaten to kick me out, try to punch me unprovoked, etc. I am 13 and have been planning to runaway for over a year and I have created a safety plan and everything. I struggle with stuff like GAD, ADHD, severe chronic depression, OCD, and more my parents keep saying I’m faking it and refuse to give me the proper treatment. Can I have some advice?

  • #2
    Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step.

    It sounds like things at home have been pretty difficult since you came out, and we're sorry to hear that. While we understand that everyone, especially parents and their children, will have their differences, we also know how important it is to feel and be supported by those closest to us. Based on what you've described, it's understandable that you might not feel very supported. And while running away is a pretty big step, it seems like you've been thinking about doing so for quite awhile now. Having a safety plan is a great start, but it's still important to spend some time thinking about a few other things as well, like where you'll go, how you'll get there, and how you'll survive once you're there. If your plan looks like you staying in shelters or you potentially living on the streets, it's also a good idea to consider how you'll make sure your health and mental health are addressed as well. For example, if you take meds for your anxiety, ADHD, depression or OCD, how will you access them? If you plan on staying with someone, like a friend or a family member, it's still a good idea to chat with them about how those needs will be met, and to make sure that they're aware of any legal ramifications that could arise in letting you stay with them (assuming you do not have parental consent).

    You also mentioned that your parents try to punch you unprovoked. Even if it were provoked, that wouldn't be okay. If you're experiencing any sort of physical abuse at home, it might be a good idea to consider filing an abuse report with your local Child Protective Services (CPS) agency. Their job is to ensure that you're safe in your home, and if you're not, to decide what steps should be taken in order to make sure that you are. If this is something that you're interested in doing, you can file a report on your own, by contacting us here at NRS for support, or by telling a safe person of the abuse (like a teacher, school counselor, therapist, etc.). Each person that I've listed are considered Mandated Reporters and have a legal obligation to contact CPS when there are any suspicions or indications of abuse.

    As you continue to think things over, one resource that you might find useful is The Trevor Project. They're an LGTBQ+ Youth Suicide Lifeline, though you don't *have* to be suicidal to call. They have a ton of resources available, are there to listen and support, and also have a social platform interconnected with their website for LGBTQ+ youth. You can connect with them by calling 1-866-488-7386, or by visiting their website at www.thetrevorproject.org, where they also have a 24/7 live chat.

    If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on at home, talk through your options, or move forward with filing an abuse report with CPS, please feel free to reach out to us directly here at NRS by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

    Take care.

    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod3; 02-06-2021, 12:52 AM.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

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    Comment


    • #3
      I am planning on running away with a friend who is going through similar circumstances and we have talked about what is going on at home with trusted adults but we always end up getting punished by our parents for it and our parents always convince anybody we talk to that this is just us being overdramatic

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for contacting NRS,
        We are truly sorry you and your friend are having issues at home. It must feel incredibly hurtful that your parents are treating you both that way. We want to stress that safety should always be your first priority. If you need to call the authorities please know that you can! As far as trying to offer some help we suggest that if the abuse is physical you can always contact Child Help (800-422-4453) which is an organization that deals specifically with child abuse and reporting. We can also report along side you as well and our number is (800-786-2929) or you can use our chat option online at 1800runaway.org. Please know that we would love to help you plan next steps and offer anything that might be of resource to you and your friend.

        If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on at home, talk through your options, or move forward with filing an abuse report with CPS, please feel free to reach out to us directly here at NRS by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

        Take care.

        NRS

    • #4
      Hello, I am 12yrs old and I want to runaway to a different country my family abuses me daily physically and mentally and they both scream at me for everything while they treat my siblings like angels I want to move to Denmark where my friend lives he used to live in California where I live now but I can’t really get my passport from my parents or their gona get suspicious, I can’t get any money either or they’re going to cancel the card, any tips to runaway to a diff country with no money?

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there, and thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It definitely sounds like you're going through a lot at home, and we're sorry to hear that.

        In thinking about running away, it's generally a good idea to spend some time thinking about where you'll go, how you'll get there, and how you'll survive once you're there. Having a friend that you can stay with is definitely a good starting point, but your concerns around traveling to another country are valid. In addition to needing a passport to get into Denmark (or even on a flight to Denmark), you'll also need to be able to purchase a ticket (which generally requires a credit card), have an ID, and be able to fly on your own. Each of these things requires a pretty thorough process, and it's likely one that you won't be able to get around. Beyond that, it looks like there are also travel restrictions in place due to COVID, and the Denmark border is currently closed. To make a long story short, getting to Denmark under "normal" circumstances would be difficult for you, but doing so now would likely not be possible.

        That said, there are other options that you can explore given your current situation. Based on the physical and mental abuse that you mentioned, it might be a good idea for you to think about filing an abuse report with your local Child Protective Services (CPS) agency. Their job is to ensure that you're safe in your home, and if you're not, to decide what steps should be taken in order to make sure that you are. If this is something that you're interested in doing, you can file a report on your own, by contacting us here at NRS for support, or by telling a safe person of the abuse (like a teacher, school counselor, therapist, etc.). Each person that I've listed here are considered Mandated Reporters and have a legal obligation to contact CPS when there are any suspicions or indications of abuse. 

        If you're not open to filing a report at this time, it might also be a good idea to see if there's anyone else that you can stay with, like a family member or a friend. However, it is good to know that having your parent's permission is really the only way to avoid any potential legal issues (aside from filing a report with CPS). You may also be able to stay in an emergency youth shelter as well.

        If you'd like to chat more about your situation, talk through some of your options, or explore filing an abuse report with CPS, please feel free to reach out to us directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

        Take care.

        NRS
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