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my dad just died and my stepdad is disrespectful

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  • my dad just died and my stepdad is disrespectful

    my dad died from brain cancer in December of 2020. I’m 17 and very close to turning 18, and my home life is really stressing me out. My stepdad is angry that i haven’t gone through all of my dad’s possessions yet, and he kind of has a “get over it” mentality. I’m unsure about whether or not he’ll ever be close with myself or my younger sister because of past abuse, but sometimes it hurts to see him treat my half sister like a princess, whenever all he ever does to myself and my sister is complain about what we don’t do (despite the fact that i do everything he asks me to) and sometimes it gets really painful that i’ll never have a healthy father/daughter relationship again. My dad obviously isn’t coming back so i cant get his advice or approval, and today i got really upset because i was talking to my mom about getting a tattoo for my dad on my 18th birthday (a nice one that i’d pay for myself). My stepdad blew up at me and started screaming about how “thats the mark of satan”. I’m not very religious, my dad was indigenous and i’m more spiritual than christian, especially considering that i’m lgbt+. But it still hurt and made me upset. He basically said that tattoos are ugly/gross no matter what reason you get them for. He said that I could do whatever i want once I move out, but I guess I’m just pretty frustrated because I know my dad would have been supportive of me, and my stepdad isn’t and never will be him, but sometimes its hard to shake that feeling of longing. I would leave if i had the money, but sadly i think i’ll be stuck here for around another year or two.

  • #2
    Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are always here to listen and help out in any way that we can. First of all, our condolences for the recent passing of your father. No one should have to experience that at a young age. Furthermore, it is unfortunate to hear that you are experiencing an unhealthy relationship with your step-dad at home. That sounds really difficult to experience, especially after losing your father recently. We can offer you support to cope and handle this situation.

    It is understandable that you would want to leave your home, given the circumstances. However, considering that you are 17 currently, your options are limited. It is important to remember that we are not legal experts but since you are a minor, you would have to live with a legal adult given permission by your parents.

    If you choose to stay with another adult without your parent's permission, then your parents have the right to file a runaway report with the police. It is important to understand that if you are filed as a runaway then anyone you stay with could potentially be charged for harboring a runaway.

    If asking for your parent’s permission does not seem like the best option, then you could file an abuse report, and allow CPS to place you elsewhere. Or, since you are almost an adult, you could file for emancipation from your legal guardian. This would give you independence from your parents at the age of 17.

    Again, we are really glad that you reached out to us today, it is not easy to ask for help or talk about situations like this. It must be difficult not being able to ask your father for advice, but you can reach out to us at any time. If you would like to talk more about what is going on at home and discuss options, please reach out to us on our 24-hour hotline or chat. We are here to listen and help with any concerns.

    Stay safe,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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