Can I Leave My Toxic Family At 13?

[Guest]

I'm 13 and my mom and dad constantly call me a slut, whore, they call me ungrateful and rude. I work constantly to make them happy but it never works. I have depression and anxiety from all the pain my parents have caused me. I truly need out of my house.

[ccsmod7]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out. It sounds so hurtful that you are being called those names. You deserve to be treated with human dignity and respect. It's understandable that all of this is taking a toll on you and you are needing a change.

It sounds like your parents can be hard to talk to and can go on the attack. You know them best, so if there is any room to try to talk to them about how you are feeling you might try to let them know how hurt you are feeling. It's understandable if you don't feel safe doing that. Generally speaking the easiest way you you to leave home at 13 is with your parent's permission, so you might try to talk to them about if there is anywhere else they would let you stay, like with a family member or family friend. The other ways you can legally leave home are through child protective services if home is proven to be dangerous for you, or the court emancipation process once you are 16. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you would like to talk through those options.

If you do decide that these options don't work for you and you need to run. Please do not hesitate to call or chat us if you need resources or support. We can look for local youth shelters nearby and help talk through your situation with you. You are not alone. 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

Hi im a 13 year old boy and u suffer from anxiety and depression. Somedays i think that my life will get better but truly it dosen't . My mom loves me but her boyfriend hates me. Me and him get into physical fights and sometimes w it gets out of hand. One time i tried to kill him twice with a knife . The sent me away and it worked but he went back to the old him. I want to run away so bad but if i try i just rrealize that i wont make it out there. then i had the option of going to a foster home to have a loving family . i hvae 2 siblings who mom loves so much. But i dont want to do any self harm to my self . He calss me lazy even when i do all the work and he calls me stupid even when i make good grades. I just need someone to talk to thats all. thanks

[ccsmod16]

Hello,

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum. We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. The situation you are in sounds very harmful for you emotionally, and I’m sorry you are going through such a tough time. It's great to know that you are and your siblings are really loved by your mom. You sound really smart for your age which is something you should be proud of, especially because you are worried about your siblings. Also, knowing that neither self harm or running away without a place to stay are not solutions means you realize you need help to figure things out.

You have mentioned that you think that going into foster care is something that would be helpful so that you can be connected to another family. Unfortunately it's not as easy to just declared that you want to go. The decision of whether or not a child would be removed from their parents care falls on the shoulders of a CPS (Child Protective Services) case worker. So it might be an option for you to be removed and placed someplace else, but you might need some from CPS to be involved in that.

If you are looking for a safe place to go, we can look into our database for resources that provide direct services to youth that are at-risk. If there is something in your area, you might be able to reach out to them and get some local help in person and see what options you might have. You can reach us by calling our phone number 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or someone is always available to chat 24/7.

It's great that you are looking towards the future and trying to make your situation better for yourself. Good luck and reach out if you need us!