I want to kill my family

[ccsmod3]

Hi,

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We appreciate you reaching out and sharing what has been going on. We are sorry for how your mom is treating you.  It sounds like a really stressful situation, and you are feeling lonely. We want you to know that you are not alone. You do not deserve to be treated that way, and we are here for you 24/7

You have experienced a great deal of pain and you are resilient. It is brave for you to reach out and share everything going on. You mentioned that you are feeling like hurting yourself. If you are feeling suicidal, please call 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. The lifeline provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

You mentioned that you are being hit and your mom threatens you. If you feel like they are in immediate danger, then we would recommend contacting 9-1-1. You have the right to report any abuse. You can call Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 and they can help provide you more info on filing an abuse report. We are available to make a report too, or If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options. We work best when we can have a conversation with you. We would recommend calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or by Live Chat, we are here 24/7.

You can look for support within your community too. If you feel comfortable, you can share what is going on with a teacher, local relative or trusted adult. We want you to know that you are not alone.

It is great that you are reaching out and we are here to explore your options. We would recommend calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or by Live Chat, we are here 24/7.Please call or chat soon at our website www.1800runaway.org.

National Runaway Safeline

I'm 13 and I live in usa. I just want to vent about my feelings , my mom treats me unfairly compared to my 3 siblings, they are constantly getting gifts or getting something they want at the store, but if i want something i have to pay with my own money. *asides things that I need, of course.* I'm homeschooled and I don't do sports or anything, so I have no social interactions and I'm so lonely, I have nobody to talk about my feelings to. I have one online friend I've known for 2 years, he's really the only person I love (he doesnt like me though) even though he isn't the nicest, he has family problems and doesn't have anyone to vent to so he often gets his anger out on me which hurts, I always try my best to be nice to him but when he's mean to me I can't help but argue and say some kind of mean stuff, though it's not very often. My mom tells me to stop staying in my room all day but if i leave my room she just gets mad at me. It's like I can't do anything right, I'm failing my homeschool and she threatens to take away my stuff when I get bad grades. I'm pretty stupid since I stopped public school in 4th grwde and I feel like I barely learn anything now. My dad is always fair and nice to me but he works from 8am to 6pm. My mom acts different when he's around and she always acts nice but as soon as he's gone she's horrible. I've been called really mean things by her, such as retard, disappointment. I've attempted suicide twice and failed, which was my fault because I was just doing stupid stuff that has a very low chance of killing you. One time my mom threatend to kill me then she pushed me really hard and my back hurt for 3 days. That's probably the only time I've been physically abused. I beg my parents to let me go to school but they don't let me, I also live in a smalltown and there isnt very much social things for kids . I'm also a transmale and my dad is supportive but my mom isnt. I love in a state where a new law is youth can't get gender affirming care, such as getting on hormones or anything. which really breaks my heart because inalways wanted to get on hormones, especially before I turn 18 because once your an adult they won't do the same effects that they would do to someone still growing. I also have to listen to my mom hurting my siblings all day, my youngest sister (4) tends to be very destructive and had but my moms parenting skils suck, so she just screams and spanks her when she's bad which literally doesn't help. I know this vent his ridiculously long aha,,, I'm also planning on killing myself soon... I truly hate my life and my online friend is the only person keeping me clinging, I honestly don't know why because he's told me to kms before. If anyone is reading this and your around my age and wanna be friends is really appreciate it.. My ig is paul.onetwothree thanks

[ccsmod11]

(If you feel you are in immediate danger for any reason, please call the police or go to your local emergency room.)

Hi there,

Thanks so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re dealing with some pretty tough issues with your siblings that are making your life difficult. We would love to hear more about your story and give you more personalized and confidential help. Please feel free to reach out to us directly any time to talk to a real person. The NRS is here 24/7 via online chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-880-9860). 

Is there anyone that knows about what’s going on? It may help to reach out to your trusted support network for advice and a listening ear on how you should handle things, or even just to vent. This might be a friend, a family member, or a trusted adult like a teacher or coach. 

If you feel safe to do so, we would encourage you to talk to your parents about how you’re feeling and tell them how your siblings’ actions are affecting your happiness. If your siblings are old enough, you may consider including them in this conversation. You may be able to get a better understanding of where everyone is coming from and make a compromise that helps you feel more comfortable at home. Your parents may also be able to have a conversation with your siblings about how their behavior is impacting your wellbeing. 

We want say again that we’re glad you reached out and we’d love to chat with you some more to help you out. If you would like to speak to a live person about your situation and get more personalized help, the NRS is here 24/7 via online chat or by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-880-9860). Thank you again for reaching out and we wish you the best of luck with everything!

I hate my life because, my sister always has an attitude to me and is always so mean, and my brother literally just bullies me for no reason and he always watches Youtube when hes not supposed to, and when I tell him he just starts to say mean stuff to me

[ccsmod3]

Hi, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are feeling like no one cares about you and that you don’t exist. It sounds very overwhelming to have these feelings. It also seems like you feel if you were to kill yourself, that your family would be happier. You deserve to have a chance to be able to live your life and be treated in a way where you are not bullied at school. We want to help as best as we can and we can help more when we can have a conversation with you. If this interests you, please either call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

I live in new jersey is 12 yrs old I want to kill myself because I feel like no one cares about me and I get teased at school about my height and I hate myself for it and my family is annoying beacuse everytime my family comes over to stay she always gotta treat someone different and i feel i like i dont even exit sometimes my grandma will ingore me and it makes me feel like i dont even exist and i dont have any privacy my dooor always has to be open when i dont do anything but go on my vr headset and i feel thats the only thing that helps with my problems so today i might kill myself so i hope theyll be happy


Zea, Goodbye

[ccsmod10]

Thank you for reaching out to us! After reading your post it is apparent that you lack support at home and your are struggling with the prospect of continuing to live there for another 5 years, potentially, before you have a ability to become more independent. Unfortunately we are a US based organization and do not have a lot of information on the way social and legal system works in India, but we are glad that you felt comfortable contacting us while being in such a vulnerable state of mind. We do not want to gloss over the notion that you are considering physical harm to others or yourself. It is natural to find yourself in dark places when placed under extreme stress and we want to make sure you know that you are not alone. In India, there is the Suicide Helpline (91-9820466726 or aasra.info) which is available 24/7 and have an interest in helping you with any and all dangerous thoughts or impulses you may be experiencing. Please do not hesitate to contact them in you have thoughts that you are unable to shake. We do not know how the criminal justice system works in India, but we do encourage you to think about what ramifications may occur if you choose to inflict intentional harm on others, including family members. In the end it is important to find a support system you trust and can count on while you are going through all of these issues at home. It is easy to assume that those who do not live your experience cannot be sympathetic to your situation. While you may be right that a different family would solve your problems that is not a guarantee, and it may be worthwhile finding friends who will support and help you advocate for change at home. We do apologize that we cannot offer more in the way of resources for you, but we are very happy you reached out and hope that this correspondence can offer you some semblance of support. Take care and stay safe, National Runaway Safeline

I live in India and I'm 13 years old. My family is so annoying they scold me if I go down with them they scold me if I stay up in my room and today my father even tried to intrude my privacy by reading my diaries, seeing my drawing and once they even checked my phone, I got angry at my father and snatched my notebook and kept it and went down but even there my big brother he is 16y and he started annoying me and calling me cry baby and when I was going up he shouted "go, go away and don't come down" so I was sitting but my parents started calling I said "no" they started calling me again and again and it was so annoying and they threatened me because they are my parents and when I got down angrily they accused me of showing attitude infront of them and even if I explain they will never understand and after that I got to know that they called me down for nothing and my family always does this, they tease me, they call me names, they discriminate me from my brother and they never call my brother for anything but and my brother thinks that my life is so good but in reality I'm struggling, I'm fighting myself from not killing them or myself, I'm struggling in school, I'm struggling with my friends, I'm struggling with my love life , I'm struggling with everything. I cannot even express my feelings to my friends because they have good parents so they don't know how it feels. I once in my life want parents who treat me nicely. I wish that I was adopted or I wish I didn't have parents or Atleast they were rich so they wouldn't care and in a middle class family they always talks about how much they did and sacrificed for us, they did so much for me but they also, scolds me fiercely, they tease me, annoys me, irritate me and it feels like torture. I wish I had different parents even my brother is like my parents they make a team and then go against me. I hate my family, I hate my life and I hate my house but I can't run because I can't do anything I can't even get a job till 18y in India

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a really tough situation at home, and we hope to help in the best way we can.
It is important you know, first of all, that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity by your family. We are so sorry to hear this has not been the case. Your treatment by them sounds incredibly unfair and demeaning. This must be very hard to endure. You talk about having plans to kill your family. We want you to know that this can have very serious consequences and that if you are feeling at risk of causing harm to anyone in your life, including yourself, you can always call 911 for immediate help. If you are having trouble with avoiding thoughts or tendencies to end your own life, you may consider reaching out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Whenever things are hard, we want to be there to help as well. We can always be reached at 1800-RUN-AWAY. We are here to listen and here to help through your darkest of moments.
You sound like an incredibly brave individual to have made it through what you have. We commend you on reaching out, even just to vent, as this is an important step in the healing and growing process. Remember: you can call us at any time. Stay safe and stay strong out there.
Sincerely,
NRS

This is mostly a vent.I’m 16 and cannot drive or move out so I’m kind of Stuck with them.They just make me so mad and have especially been getting on my nerves lately.i have hated my family my entire life,mostly my dad and brother,but now I’m starting to hate my mom and sister more too even tho I normally got along with them.Everytime I’m upset,my parents continue to make me even more angry by making fun of me and mocking me.when I get really mad and curse at them or break something,they yell at me and take my stuff.i tell them why they are making me upset and they completely ignore me.my siblings do the same thing.my Older brother is constantly asking me stupid questions,sometimes the same questions,and it’s annoys me.when I get annoyed at it my parents accuse me of being an towards him.my little 10 year old sister does not respect me at all.my parents let her continue being an Little towards me.i once punched her because she was being soooooo annoying,but ofc I Got in a lot of trouble for that even though she was asking for it lmao.i Am obviously their least favorite and they are constantly making fun of me My looks or for just doing something harmless.for the last two months every time they even speak to me I immediately get angry and annoyed .my family doesn’t not even feel like real human beings they just feel like that are programmed to hurt me And Have no Friends or social skills,I can’t drive,No job so I’m not sure what I can do and i feel cornered And alone.I seriously thought that doing online school would give me a break from the people at school but my parents aren’t any better.i Feel the same kind of anger for my own family that I felt for my classmates but the difference is I can Actually do something to these people.i don’t know what I should do honestly