I want to kill my family

[Guest]

This is mostly a vent.I’m 16 and cannot drive or move out so I’m kind of Stuck with them.They just make me so mad and have especially been getting on my nerves lately.i have hated my family my entire life,mostly my dad and brother,but now I’m starting to hate my mom and sister more too even tho I normally got along with them.Everytime I’m upset,my parents continue to make me even more angry by making fun of me and mocking me.when I get really mad and curse at them or break something,they yell at me and take my stuff.i tell them why they are making me upset and they completely ignore me.my siblings do the same thing.my Older brother is constantly asking me stupid questions,sometimes the same questions,and it’s annoys me.when I get annoyed at it my parents accuse me of being an towards him.my little 10 year old sister does not respect me at all.my parents let her continue being an Little towards me.i once punched her because she was being soooooo annoying,but ofc I Got in a lot of trouble for that even though she was asking for it lmao.i Am obviously their least favorite and they are constantly making fun of me My looks or for just doing something harmless.for the last two months every time they even speak to me I immediately get angry and annoyed .my family doesn’t not even feel like real human beings they just feel like that are programmed to hurt me And Have no Friends or social skills,I can’t drive,No job so I’m not sure what I can do and i feel cornered And alone.I seriously thought that doing online school would give me a break from the people at school but my parents aren’t any better.i Feel the same kind of anger for my own family that I felt for my classmates but the difference is I can Actually do something to these people.i don’t know what I should do honestly

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a really tough situation at home, and we hope to help in the best way we can.
It is important you know, first of all, that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity by your family. We are so sorry to hear this has not been the case. Your treatment by them sounds incredibly unfair and demeaning. This must be very hard to endure. You talk about having plans to kill your family. We want you to know that this can have very serious consequences and that if you are feeling at risk of causing harm to anyone in your life, including yourself, you can always call 911 for immediate help. If you are having trouble with avoiding thoughts or tendencies to end your own life, you may consider reaching out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Whenever things are hard, we want to be there to help as well. We can always be reached at 1800-RUN-AWAY. We are here to listen and here to help through your darkest of moments.
You sound like an incredibly brave individual to have made it through what you have. We commend you on reaching out, even just to vent, as this is an important step in the healing and growing process. Remember: you can call us at any time. Stay safe and stay strong out there.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

I live in India and I'm 13 years old. My family is so annoying they scold me if I go down with them they scold me if I stay up in my room and today my father even tried to intrude my privacy by reading my diaries, seeing my drawing and once they even checked my phone, I got angry at my father and snatched my notebook and kept it and went down but even there my big brother he is 16y and he started annoying me and calling me cry baby and when I was going up he shouted "go, go away and don't come down" so I was sitting but my parents started calling I said "no" they started calling me again and again and it was so annoying and they threatened me because they are my parents and when I got down angrily they accused me of showing attitude infront of them and even if I explain they will never understand and after that I got to know that they called me down for nothing and my family always does this, they tease me, they call me names, they discriminate me from my brother and they never call my brother for anything but and my brother thinks that my life is so good but in reality I'm struggling, I'm fighting myself from not killing them or myself, I'm struggling in school, I'm struggling with my friends, I'm struggling with my love life , I'm struggling with everything. I cannot even express my feelings to my friends because they have good parents so they don't know how it feels. I once in my life want parents who treat me nicely. I wish that I was adopted or I wish I didn't have parents or Atleast they were rich so they wouldn't care and in a middle class family they always talks about how much they did and sacrificed for us, they did so much for me but they also, scolds me fiercely, they tease me, annoys me, irritate me and it feels like torture. I wish I had different parents even my brother is like my parents they make a team and then go against me. I hate my family, I hate my life and I hate my house but I can't run because I can't do anything I can't even get a job till 18y in India

[ccsmod10]

Thank you for reaching out to us! After reading your post it is apparent that you lack support at home and your are struggling with the prospect of continuing to live there for another 5 years, potentially, before you have a ability to become more independent. Unfortunately we are a US based organization and do not have a lot of information on the way social and legal system works in India, but we are glad that you felt comfortable contacting us while being in such a vulnerable state of mind. We do not want to gloss over the notion that you are considering physical harm to others or yourself. It is natural to find yourself in dark places when placed under extreme stress and we want to make sure you know that you are not alone. In India, there is the Suicide Helpline (91-9820466726 or aasra.info) which is available 24/7 and have an interest in helping you with any and all dangerous thoughts or impulses you may be experiencing. Please do not hesitate to contact them in you have thoughts that you are unable to shake. We do not know how the criminal justice system works in India, but we do encourage you to think about what ramifications may occur if you choose to inflict intentional harm on others, including family members. In the end it is important to find a support system you trust and can count on while you are going through all of these issues at home. It is easy to assume that those who do not live your experience cannot be sympathetic to your situation. While you may be right that a different family would solve your problems that is not a guarantee, and it may be worthwhile finding friends who will support and help you advocate for change at home. We do apologize that we cannot offer more in the way of resources for you, but we are very happy you reached out and hope that this correspondence can offer you some semblance of support. Take care and stay safe, National Runaway Safeline