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i don't know what to do.

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  • i don't know what to do.

    im 15 and i live in nj and im thinking about running away. my father is a horrible person. he doesn't physically abuse me on a daily basis or anything like that. he isn't a drug or alcohol addict. it's hard to describe. my mom says she won't divorce him because if she does, he'll just accuse her of using me as an excuse to get money from him. i told her today that if she didn't divorce him i would run away and she didn't say anything. i'm also pretty sure my mom's scared of him because he has a nasty temper. when he got really mad at me last year he started hitting me. my mom got in the way and he shoved her too. involving the police, social workers, etc. will definitely not help. my parents will just deny everything i say and cover it up really well. i don't know what to do. i don't think i can wait to go off to college or turn 18 because i know everything's just getting worse as the days go by even though my mom is pretty vague on the details. he always kicks my grandmother out but my mom and i usually manage to get her back for at least a month or so until my dad starts shouting and yelling at my mom and my grandma to make her leave. i know i wouldn't be able to stay with any of my friends because there parents would definitely tell mine and my mom would definitely find me. i thought about buying a bus ticket to montreal, canada where my aunt/godmom [my mom's sister] and cousins live who know about my father and loathe him too, but i don't want her and my cousins to be upset and disappointed with me for running away and send me back. and even if i go there, what do i do then? i tried looking online for an idea where i can go, but i can't seem to find anything.

    i don't know what to do.

  • #2
    Re: i don't know what to do.

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. I’m sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough time right now. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot at home, and you’re feeling that running away is the only option. You said that your dad doesn’t physically abuse you on a daily basis, but also mentioned that he has a horrible temper and has hit you and shoved your mom before. How often does this happen? Are you ever afraid for your safety in these situations? Have you ever told anybody about what happens? A friend, teacher, counselor? I know you mentioned that you didn’t think a case worker would help, have you ever considered reporting this? You said you were thinking of running to Canada to go live with relatives. How do you think they would react if you did this? What do you think your parents would do? Would you still go to school? I know I’m asking a lot of questions but these are probably things that you have already been thinking about. If you had to stay at home do you think there is anything that would make the situation better? Has your family ever done any type of counseling? Do you think that would help? I can imagine that you are having a tough time deciding what the best plan of action would be, and how to make that plan possible. This doesn’t sound like an easy situation and I’m sorry you have to go through something like this. If you ever wanted to give us a call here at 1-800-RUNAWAY, maybe we could explore some different options that might help. Also if you ever decided that you wanted to make an abuse report that is something we could help with as well, because no matter how often it happens you don’t deserve to get hit. We are a completely confidential hotline and here 24 hours so there is always someone to help. I wish you the best of luck with everything and give us a call if you need to.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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