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18 y/o queer trans person wants to walk out

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  • ccsmod13
    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. You made a great first step to finding the help that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot and the people in your household are not being supportive. You deserve to be treated with respect, to experience acceptance and to feel safe. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The Trevor Project is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer:

    You mentioned that you were considering the options that may be best for you. By all means, if you do fear for your safety either now or in the future, do not hesitate to take the necessary steps to regain your safety. Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live.  We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. It sounds like you have already considered these things and have a short term plan in place with your friend. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as housing costs, phone bill, or health insurance. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.  

    Leaving can be a big step to take toward independence, and ultimately you will know better than anyone what is best for you. The most important part is that you have a solid plan and know how you will get the basic necessities that you need. If you would like to talk more about your situation please do not hesitate to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at

    Be safe and good luck,

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  • Guest
    Guest started a topic 18 y/o queer trans person wants to walk out

    18 y/o queer trans person wants to walk out

    i'm 18 years old. i am non-binary and bisexual. i live with my mother, my father and my younger brother (9). i desperately want to move out. my parents are helicopter parents and have treated me the same way since i was 11. being in this house depresses me.
    i don't feel like i have any freedom in this household. i have to ask my parents when i want to meet up with my friends, and whenever i ask them, it becomes a full blown family discussion and guilt tripping. they also say things like "you hung out with them last time," and 'last time' would be 2-3 weeks ago, for a maximum of four hours. they know where i am, 24/7, because they force me to have my location on at all times. since i was 12, my parents have made me put away all my electronics at nighttime, so i don't go to bed with them. they tell me this is a "family rule" that has benefited all of us, but both have their phones, ipads, and a tv in their bedroom at nighttime. they also don't allow me to get a job.

    my mother is extremely controlling. she has access to my college accounts, my personal checking and savings account, my work/important email, my school email, my facebook account, and more. when i got my recent phone, she put her fingerprint id on it before i was able to put mine. i was only able to delete it when my phone was glitching and i had to reset it.

    once, she got upset at me when she checked my bank statement and saw that i had spent $5 dollars on one month of spotify premium. additionally, my mom tells me that i have about $3000 dollars in a savings account (from a savings bond i think) i've had since i was a minor. i've asked her multiple times when i was a minor when i could take the money out, and she'd say "when you turn 18." when i turned 18, i asked her again, and she would not give me a clear answer. i have no idea how to access this account.

    recently, my mother almost deleted two of my email accounts she once had access to. she did this without my permission. i had previously changed the passwords to those emails, but she gained access because i did not remove her phone numbers from them. she was able to change the passwords to these accounts herself through her phone number and was about to delete them. she only stopped when she got a notification that the pw was changed again by me (i thought i was being hacked).

    my dad scares me, and i feel guilty for it. he doesn't do anything horrible but i feel as if he sexualizes me. i have been told many times to change my outfits that are not even revealing or sexual. i don't show my cleavage or my legs, or any inappropriate skin. one time that stood out to me was one summer day last year, when i was wearing a tank top and shorts (as my night clothes) at home. i had just woken up and my dad yelled at me that i needed to get dressed and that he doesn't want to see me wearing that. i feel very sexualized by him.

    when i was a junior in high school, the pressure to be the perfect student and daughter broke me. my grades dropped and my parents were furious. my mom checked my grades and yelled at me for the low ones. she insisted that my phone was the problem, that i was distracted by it all the time. i told her that wasn't the case and that i was depressed about myself and the stress about school and my physical health. i told my parents that i hated myself and my body, and it caused me to self harm. statements of "what would people think of us if you had killed yourself doing that," arose. my father was very angry with me and nearly hit me. instead of boosting my self confidence, they told me that there were people uglier than me. they told me i had to be more appreciative because "god made me this way." i didn't go to therapy or anything afterwards, and it was never mentioned again. after that situation i never talked to my parentd about personal issues out of fear that nothing would be done again.

    i really want to walk out. whenever i communicate with my parents, they just say that i'm rude and talking back, or that im ungrateful. i don't think communicating my feelings is an option anymore. as someone who is both bisexual and trans, i truly dont feel like i can stay here any longer.i feel guilty for wanting to move out because even though i feel like ******** in this house, i have it better than most people. i've stayed trapped in this household for the entirety of the covid pandemic and i feel like if i stay here for any longer, i might kill myself. im already depressed and suicidal.

    i have a friend who was once a runaway, and she told me that if i needed accommodation and a place to stay, she could help me. she lives with her grandparents. about a year ago they took in her sister's best friend who also ran away. my parents know where they live though, and so her dad offered his place as well (my parents dont know where this is) i have about $1500 in my bank account (that i have access to). i have a license. my parents don't pay a single penny for my college (i'm on scholarship). my brother is being raised way better than i have been and has a large support group. if i do walk out, i plan to apply for a job right away and take a semester or year break from college and/or transfer to a community college rather than 4-year university.

    this is my situation. if i do move out, i plan to do so before springtime. i don't think i can take it anymore. should i go for it?
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