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Should I?

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  • Should I?

    I'm 12 and going through many family issues. I've been struggling in school due to problems including Anxiety and Depression, which is just made worst when my mother or siblings yell at me for it.

    I'm not connected with my father and never have been as we rarely talk and never do things together despite me living with both parents. Recently the problem became worst when my sister called CPS (Child protective services) on my father, stating that he has molested me (Which is not in the slightest true and not the first time she's called CPS on my family in hopes to get me and my slightly older brother taken).

    Speaking of my sister, we fight constantly and it has gotten to points where she's threatened to harm me, I don't feel safe around her because of this. She has a couple months old baby who she often leaves with me to babysit, which ends up with me getting frustrated that the child won't stop screaming.
    My self esteem and confidence is low due to both my Anxiety and because my siblings commonly make fun of me, which doesn't seem like it harms me at the time, but it is incredibly impactful.

    I've thought about running away before, although didn't act on it, which I personally regret not acting upon. My family has been going on like this for years, as long as I can remember, and it's just gotten too difficult to handle. I'm at the point where I can't cope anymore, and I just want to die or harm myself, I have harmed myself.

    I have thought about talking to my school counselor, but I'm afraid to, I think she'll tell my mother, who has already expressed that she doesn't believe in child Depression.
    I previously dealt with Emotional Detachment which has now faded and made me feel worst then ever.

    I don't have any friends since I'm too socially awkward to make some, so the option of asking a friend to stay at their house is completely off the table, even if I was okay with asking them if I could stay at theirs.

    I doubt this is even all of it. I've dealt with so much in the past years that it would be impossible to even list it all in enough detail.

    Should I run away? I'm ready to do so, but I need to know if this would be the right decision. If it is, what are some tips for doing this and being able to keep it going for as long as I need to unwind? (Chances are, no, I won't leave permanently, I'll just stay out until I feel good enough to come back. If someone yells at me for running out, I'll happily warn them that I'll do it again too)

  • #2

    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and to listen.

    We’re sorry to hear that things have been so rough at home – you deserve to feel safe with the people you live with. You have a right to file a child abuse report, and can do so at ChildHelp 1-800-422-4453. It sounds like you have tried and considered several things in order to stay safe at home!

    You mentioned wanting to leave home. While we are not legal experts we can speak generally on this. Leaving home without your parent’s permission as a minor is not illegal, but it is a status offense. This means your parents can report you as a runaway to the police. Again, you would not be arrested or charged with a crime because of this. It does mean your parents can ask police to return you home if they know where you are staying.

    You also mentioned that you’ve been feeling depressed, and we would like to leave you with a few hotline referrals. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) is a hotline that you can access for more information on mental health, their number is 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or [email protected]. Another resource is the National Suicide Hotline, a 24/7 hotline (1-800-273-8255) and chatline.

    If you’d like to discuss these options further, we would be happy to talk to you via our 24/7 hotline or through our chat feature. One of our hotline workers can also make a safety plan with you if the situation at home gets out of hand or to offer some shelter referrals.

    Best of luck,

    National Runaway Safeline
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)


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