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I am so conflicted

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  • I am so conflicted

    hi, i am a 12 year old girl and I have plans to run away. I feel mentally unstable and I can't handle staying in my family anymore. I care for both of my parents, and also hate them, but I love my 5 year old sister and I don't want her life to be ruined because of me. My parents are dragging along a fight and I don't even know which one of them is right. These fights happen every day and I take my sister inside so she doesn't see anything. I think my parents care about me they just aren't what I need right now. Also, I always got physically hurt when I tried making the fighting end, and both times were by my mom. The first time is slapped me on my shoulder and dug into my skin and I have a mark there even today, and two days ago, she slapped me on my cheek and it hurt a lot. I have been experiencing this my whole life and I don't feel normal. I never truly laugh or smile, and no matter how many times I tell them how much they affect this family, they don't see it.

    This might sound stupid, but even though I wan t to run away, I don't want to end up working at Sprouts or something, I want to be a lawyer and I still want to continue school, obviously that might not be possible if I run away. And if I run away, I want to be safe and have a companion I can trust.

    Honestly, I don't know what answers I am looking for, I just feel so conflicted. But, if anyone is running away and wants to be a companion to me, preferablly a girl, or has any advice on how to runaway and maintain school, that would be good.

  • #2
    Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We are sorry to hear that you are going through such a bad time at home. You and your sister do not deserve to be caught up in fights between your parent’s. You also do not deserve to be hit by your mother. None of what is happening is your fault. There are laws that protect children against any type of abuse.
    If you would like to discuss options on getting help we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance.

    Running away may be one way you are looking at but at the same time it can be a dangerous thing to do. Your safety is important.
    If you would like to talk more in detail and explore some other options, please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (click on the chat button).

    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately. To get help by filing an abuse report contact Child Help at 1-800-442-4453

    Take care,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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