living in this house is so suffocating

[Guest]

i read a few posts under this website and my situation probably isn't that serious as theirs but living in my house is so suffocating. i normally dont converse with my parents unless they ask me to do something like chores or something, but most of the time we talk it's cause we're arguing. its always about something really stupid, or a misunderstanding, but everytime i try to talk reason with them to explain the misunderstanding or situation. i know that misunderstandings can go both ways, and i acknowledge that i could be the one who is in the wrong sometimes. im not saying that im always right. but whenever we have an argument, its like arguing with a wall. everything i say never goes through, they always want to say what they want to say and never hear me out. they always tell me in these arguments that its all ME that I am the one with the problem here that i could be 'overthinking'. i tried talking to them telling them that they can't always be blaming me for the situation, and that parents aren't perfect and can wrong others also. but guess what? they dont listen. they avoid what i say. then, they always say that its me that is causing the relationship to break saying that "it takes two people to have an argument" yet, they never even hear my side out. they always want to look at everything at their perspective and are never willing to look at mine. One time i even managed to be able to have a normal conversation with my mom and i told her how i was tired of hearing that everything was because of me and that they should at least hear me out whenever we have an argument. she agreed and all that, but yet again today she didnt hear me out and said everything was because of ME and that I was the one with the memory problem and that I was the one who was twisting things around. the root of these arguments arent even that big of a deal but what makes it blow up is when i try to explain myself NORMALLY WITHOUT HAVING ATTITUDE OR WHATEVER THEY SAY they say im 'talking back' and that 'im too young to know what im talking about'. just yesterday also we had argument and again it was something stupid and this time i had actually hard evidence against the misunderstanding but they kept saying that it blew up because I was the one who didn't clear it up very early on. i dont remember it that way, but even so, im so tired of them saying that its my fault for all the arguments. im a junior in high school and i feel like im kind of a crybaby for being so sensitive about these arguments but it just keeps happening over and over like an endless cycle and even when i tried talking sense into them they dont have any of it. i want to runaway, but i heard that my friends' parents can get in trouble for taking me in, and i dont want others at school to think of me weird for wanting to runaway which is why i went to here. its like i have no way out of being out of this household until i get to college. all i really ask of them is to be more understanding of me, and be open to hearing my side without having the situation blow up. and for an apology if they are in the wrong. im tired of me doing the apologizing and never getting one back when it really counts. im reading the book called the crucible right now in my english class, and if none of what i said made sense, it's like i am john proctor who is trying to give reason and my parents are parris who doesn't bother listening to proctor's reason, and instead just claiming hes 'overthrowing the court'. im so tired of this stupid family.

[ccsmod2]

Hi there,

Thank you for taking the time to reach out to NRS. It sounds like there is a lot going on at home and conversations with your parents are getting frustrating and are not productive when you try to tell your parents how you feel. It sounds like you have tried a lot of things and did the right thing stepping back from the situation to seek support. When you start to get into disagreements with your parents, have you ever tried saying, “I need space right now. I’d like to talk about this when we are all feeling more calm and ready to talk?”. It sounds like in your situation that continuing to argue might be making things worse and that taking space could help things cool down for a bit before continuing the conversation. Also, when things get frustrating do you have another trusted adult in your life that you could talk with (i.e. school social worker, therapist, family member etc.)? Having someone outside of your home to talk to might help you air out what is going on and problem solve how to work through stressful times at home. It sounds like you have considered running away, but are not sure. You are right that your friend’s parents could get in trouble if they are letting you stay away from your home without your parents knowing.

It seems there is a lot that you are faced since you are having a difficult time living at home with what you are experiencing with your family. If you need any additional resources or support on what you might do, please do not hesitate to call NRS directly at 1-800-786-2929 or visit ://www.1800runaway.org/#. We are here 24/7 to take calls and chats. We can best support you on calls and chats when we have more specific information about your situation.

We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

Be safe,

NRS