what should I do?

[Guest]

Um... Hi... I came for a little advice. I can't stand this house anymore, nor the sight of my family, they hate me, they hit me for no reason, they call me names, and I can't take another day like this.... I was thinking about running far far away, with someone that I have known for as far as I can remember and I know she'll help me out... the thing is.... if they ever find me... will they drag me back? even if I stopped being a US resident, went to live somewhere else in the meantime but come back after I run away? because I don't wanna see any of these people again, and I don't wanna lose my life to someone who's not worth it. I already tried calling child services and stuff... and it didn't work, because I don't know anyone here where I live yet, and the police thought I was a psycho because I had no evidence and they were gonna take me away for two months so i would learn not to "lie to them". so calling the police again is something I will not do, never ever ever again.

[ccsmod3]

Re: what should I do?

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Switchboard. We’re sorry to hear that you have been having such a difficult time with your family. No one deserves to be hit or called names and we can only imagine how hard this has been for you. You state that you cannot take another day like this; how have you been dealing with everything so far? You mention wanting to run far away with someone you know well; where would you go? We are not legal experts, but to our knowledge running away isn’t considered illegal. It is normally just a status offense which means that you cannot do it because you are a minor.

However, many states consider harboring a runaway (staying with someone without your parent’s permission) a crime. Many states also have laws against transporting minors against state lines or aiding a runaway in any way. You mention not wanting to be a US resident anymore, but we aren’t sure quite what you mean. We are not International experts either so we aren’t sure of the exact legal consequences if you run away to another country. Also, when someone runs away, the parent or legal guardian generally has the right to file a runaway or missing person’s report which goes into a database called the NCIC (National Crime Information Center.) So, while many times the police do not actively look for runaway youth, if they find someone they suspect has run away, they can check in this database regardless of whether the youth has traveled out of state.

Unless you’ve committed some other crime though, even if the police find you, they normally just send runaway youth back home. Or, if it is a situation where home is not safe, child protective services (CPS) can sometimes be an option as well. Here are also some common questions to think about if you are considering leaving and they are available on our website.
http://www.1800runaway.org/youth_teens/nrs_help.html

Even though it sounds like you are seeking advice, we are not in a position to tell you what to do. Ultimately, that decision is up to you. We would be happy to talk to you about your options though. It sounds like you haven’t had the most positive experience with child services and the police, but if you’d like to try again we can help with that. We are confidential, but in the case that you would like to file an abuse report, we can either call it in, or we can stay on the line while we conference (three-way) with CPS. There would be no guarantees and how CPS chooses to proceed would be at their discretion. Unfortunately, it can often times be difficult to prove verbal abuse or even physical abuse if there are no marks.

If you decide that you do not want to report it, that is okay too. There is a child/youth advocacy organization called Justice for Children that can be a resource for youth who are having trouble with the system. There is also an organization called Child Help USA and they don’t actually take reports, but they can offer information on child abuse.

Justice for Children
1-800-733-0059

Child Help USA
1-800-422-4453

We hope this is of help and if you need anything else do not hesitate to contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are available and can be reached 24/7. Good luck and we hope you stay safe!

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: what should I do?

what I meant by not being a US resident is, my dad wants to go live somewhere else, but if I run away I would come back here, would they still chase me around? and would they still drag me back by force? I really don't wanna be brought back here. and calling child services or the police again is not an option, I'm not gonna make the same mistake 3 times in a row, because they can't be trusted.

[ccsmod1]

Re: what should I do?

Thanks for posting again. Just a reminder, we’re not lawyers, so we can’t give you specific legal information. Generally speaking, as we said before if a youth runs away from home, they are not usually actively pursued by the police department. The amount of “searching” would depend on the police department a report is filed with. If a youth from out of the country re-enters the country, a runaway report probably wouldn’t be automatic unless the youth’s parents filed it with a US police department.

One thing that might be important to think about is how you would get back into the United States. Many times it’s not as easy as just crossing the border. Normally appropriate documentation (passport, official state ID, birth certificate, social security card) is needed before a person is able to enter the United States. There may be other stipulations for youth that are under 18 (such as consent of legal guardian). This website might be helpful to learn more about the process to enter the United States: http://foreignborn.com/visas_imm/enteri ... rocess.htm

However, if a runaway youth from out of the country gets caught in the United States without their legal guardians, the police aren’t normally able to just let the youth go. Because a youth is required to be with their legal guardians, if there are no legal guardians to send the youth back to, Children’s Services may get involved. It may also just be a matter of housing the youth until transportation back home can be arranged. This is normal procedure for youth caught out of state and we assume it would be the same for youth caught out of the country.

Unfortunately, as you’re probably discovering, there aren’t many legal options for youth that are under 18 and don’t want to live at home. The main options are: 1) Get parent’s permission to live elsewhere (to which they could change their mind) 2) Be removed by Children’s Services 3) Get custody transferred to another adult (which could require Children’s Services to be involved, but would definitely require family court to be involved) 4) Get emancipated (this is another legal proceeding, that not every state offers. For the ones that do offer it, it’s a way for youth to petition the local family court for the rights of an adult. It’s not always an easy or cheap option). We certainly don’t want to discourage you, but do want to let you know as much information as we know, so you can make the most informed decision. There may be local agencies that are willing to get involved and help be an advocate for you, if you felt like Children’s Services and the police haven’t been helpful in the past.

As stated before, we’d be more than happy to talk to you more in depth about any of this. We’re a completely confidential hotline, so you don’t have to worry about us telling anyone that you called us. Also, the numbers we posted before may be helpful as far as learning more of the legal options you may have. Remember, people out there do care and want to help you the best they can! Best of luck with all this.