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im 19 and still under control of my abusive mom

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  • im 19 and still under control of my abusive mom

    my mom has mentally abused me my whole life, the only time she didnt was when she was piss drunk for an entire 3 months when i was 7-8years old. tonight she swung on me like she was going to punch me in the face, she never made contact with me but its still the idea that she would do that. my whole preteen and teen years she would never let me get a job because she wanted the tax returns on me for taking care of me, so she never taught me how to get a job, work, or anything really. everything ive learned i had to learn myself the hard way. shes swung on me before, never hitting me, but she has thrown plastic bottles at me/my head and when shes mad she throws things. she once swiped everything off the coffee table and broke a bunch of glass because i told her i didnt like that she was telling me im stupid. stupid is the least of the insults i hear on a daily basis. i dont know how to get out of this hell hole, im mortified to go to a homeless shelter because my city is murder city. its terrifying to be a woman alone in this city. i need advice. should i have called the cops on her? how do i get out of here safely? and if i cant get out soon how can i handle this cause im just lost at this point

  • #2

    We really appreciate you reaching out to us and opening up about what's been going on with how your mom has treated you. It definitely sounds like an abusive relationship and it makes total sense that you would want to leave the situation. Fortunately, since you are 19 you are considered legally emancipated from your mom and there is no legal reason holding you back from leaving. However, we understand that starting out on your own can still be very daunting, and you may need some assistance. Here are some things to consider:

    1) Maybe think about whether there is someone you trust that you feel you could live with -- a relative or friend, for example.

    2) Often, there are local agencies that offer youth transitional living programs. These are designed to help young people get on their feet and they may offer things like counseling, help with school or job applications, and the like. Of course, this may also involve housing at no or low cost. If you call or chat with us, we can see if there is one in your area.

    3) Regardless of what course of action you decide to take, getting as much help as you can is a good idea. It sounds like you've had to deal with a lot of trauma growing up (and continuing now into young adulthood). Getting the support of a professional counselor, therapist, or social worker might be a good idea. Again, if you give us a call or chat with us we can see what counseling options there are in your area. Most counseling agencies have options for people with no or low income, by the way.

    4) You could file a police report about what's happened, though whether you do or not is up to you. Obviously, your safety is the highest priority.

    There are likely even more options to think about, but that's a start. The best way we can help is if you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via the chat feature on our website: We have a large database of resources that we can connect you with. And, of course, we are also here to just listen and support you. We are non-judgmental, confidential, and open 24/7. In the meantime, please be safe and remember you can also dial 911 if you are in any immediate danger.

    All the best,
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 11-11-2020, 10:11 PM.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)


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