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29..& still can't leave

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  • 29..& still can't leave

    So, as the title says..I'm nearing 30 (in February) & still not allowed to leave home. I've literally been told "you can't move out because I won't allow it." I haven't done anything wrong, ever. I did get pregnant at 17, & rebelled briefly after that (I tried to move out then..had a place to go & my own money, but, like I said, was told "no" I ended up abandoning everything & running away...for about a month) Have never been in trouble with the law, anything like that.
    This time last year, I reached a breaking point & was considering far worse things than moving or running away...

    Now, once again, I have a place to go (my boyfriend's), & my own money (it's not much, but it's something) The only issue is..the place I'd go is too small for my daughter (11yrs)..she'd have to go stay with her dad until my boyfriend & I get our own place (which we're planning to do in March) The two live literally just 2 streets apart, so I wouldn't be far from her. My only fear is (& I brought this scenario up to my boyfriend a week or so ago, during a really low moment) my mom is petty & vindictive af, & I'm afraid she'll call CPS & get me for abandonment.

    I want to get out, for one..the obvious...I'm 29 & should've been out a LONG time ago. She & my step-dad are constantly fighting (mainly about money) & since he's a trucker, he's only home once every 4-6wks. When he's's like walking on eggshells (I already is anyway) because he can do something small like forget to say "thank you" & they'll go into a nasty fight. I really don't want my daughter around that. She has a quick temper, & is forever criticizing my parenting (which hurts) She sees me as selfish, especially after I voiced my desire to have a little more freedom. She acts like I don't care about my daughter, & is always making backhanded comments about me, & my boyfriend & his family.

    She's cut me off from my dad & told me he's a bad person (he's not) & will get really jealous if she thinks I'm talking to him. If there's anyone who sees her for who she truly is (not just from what I've said, either), she'll tell me they're liars & not good for me to be around. There's other examples, but there's just way too many.

    I guess, more than anything, I just wanted to vent. I feel trapped. I feel like even if I went through my "plan" of running to my boyfriend's house & sending my daughter to temporarily be with her dad will make me feel happy for only a little, before guilt & regret sets in. But everyone tells me "just hold on one more day.."
    I don't know how much longer I can hold on...

  • #2
    Hello There,
    Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time and we want you to know you are not alone.
    Because you are an adult you can decide where you want to live regardless of where your parents want you to live. We know you mentioned your mother calling CPS on you, which is possible.
    One thing to consider would be to have an agreement with your child’s father before moving in with your boyfriend. You can get an agreement without courts getting involved, and can have it notarized so if CPS were to get involved it would protect you. You most likely would not get charged with neglect if you were still taking care of your daughter and there was an agreement before you decide to move.
    We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. Best of luck!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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