Simply Scared

[Guest]

I want to start by saying I love my family and I suppose, in a way they love me too. But our household is living hell everyday I'm there. I swap houses between my mom and grandparents and both places just aren't the best. I'll start with my mom. My mother recently had another son and all of a sudden, I get to stay with her again while she goes out clubbing while I'm stuck babysitting. It's not too bad but it's repetitive and we rarely spend one on one time together. My mother gets angry easily and quarantine hasn't made that easier. She constantly yells at me, tells me my opinion doesn't matter, and calls me the r-word. I'm sure you can guess which word. However, a few moments later, her anger is mostly gone and she acts like she didn't reign terror on me. And its not just me, my one-year-old brother also has to deal with her wrath anytime something bad happens. He definitely doesn't deserve it.

My grandparents are a worse case. I lived with them majority of my life and still live with them part-time and recently we just can't get along. It leads to them hitting me, choking me, and breaking my things. I've stopped crying about like I did when I was younger but it still hurts. My grandpa hates me and constantly talks about throwing me out while my grandma might love me, she does most of the hitting. They try and justify it but I don't really know if there's anything to justify. I feel like I have no one to talk to since I have no other family members and I'd never trust my friends with this.

I live currently in Florida and I just want to run away to a shelter or someplace safe. But I can't do it if my family will find me and take me back home. Sometimes I wish they'd just kick me out already so this would be easier.

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out; we are glad that you did. You have been and are going through so very much. You don’t deserve to be treated this way. Your mother’s anger and constant yelling and name-calling must feel awful for you, and the baby has no way to really cope with this.
Your grandparents hitting and choking you is very, very wrong. No one has the right to choke you. Having two places where it’s hard to be must be awful. This forum platform’s main downside is that we can’t have a conversation with you to help you figure out what your options might be. It would be helpful to talk with you about your age and your city and state so that we can look up resources in your area. The one thing we can recommend here is child abuse reporting which you can do yourself by calling Childhelp.org at 1-800-422-4453 You can also tell a teacher or other trusted adult and ask them to help you file a report.
You can also reach out to us in a way where we can talk and listen to you. You can reach us by phone at 1800-786-26929 (1800-runaway) or via live chat through www.1800runaway.org You deserve to be listened to seriously and to talk over your options and what it would look like to access a shelter. We truly hope that you will reach out by phone or chat. We are here to listen and help 24/7
Sincerely,
NRS