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Hi, I'm a trans teen living in Pennsylvania and I turned 17 a couple of weeks ago. I really want to get out of my parents' house.
My parents have very high academic expectations for me because I'm in my school's gifted program that I feel like I have never been able to reach. Whenever I slip up or get less than amazing grades, they call me lazy, useless, ungrateful, and a brat because they only expect me to study and nothing else. Whenever I struggle with something, they brush me aside and tell me I should figure it out myself and I should already know how to do this because I'm supposed to be smart. They get mad at me for the slightest dip in my grades and because COVID-19 has been extremely stressful for me and has impacted my motivation, they decided to take away my phone and my access to our family computer, which are the only ways I could contact my most of my friends and people in marching band since my school laptop has most social media and messaging websites and apps blocked.
Besides verbally abusing me, my parents have hit me several times in the past. I've been slapped, scratched, and even suffocated several times, mostly by my dad. He's justified the hitting as a traditional way to discipline kids because we're Asian, and he also hits my 13 year old sister, who has a developmental disability. Someone actually noticed a large gash on my neck at the beginning of my sophomore year and reported it, which got CPS involved. However, the only thing that came from that was a recommendation to let me see a therapist, which I've since stopped seeing because of the pandemic.
I've suspected for a while that I may have an anxiety disorder or an attention-deficit disorder, and my therapist shared this sentiment, but my parents refused to believe anything was wrong with me except that I was just lazy and over-dramatic. They think that whenever I'm struggling with my mental health, I'm just looking for attention and acting up, which often prompts my dad to threaten to call the police on me, though he's never done so before. My parents are also very conservative and hold very transphobic and homophobic beliefs, and my dad threatened to kill me when I once "jokingly" came out to them in 7th grade. Because of this, I am extremely scared of coming out to them as a trans boy, as it might put not just me in danger, but also my boyfriend. Even without knowing that me and my boyfriend are gay, my mom especially holds disdain for my boyfriend because she believes that he could "corrupt" me, even though she's never met him.
I really don't know what to do at this point. I don't feel safe in this house and I fear not just for my own safety, but also for my sister and my boyfriend's. One of my friends along with my boyfriend have both offered to give me a place to stay if something happens and I don't have anywhere else, but my friend is only 16 and my boyfriend is about to turn 18. I don't want to get them in trouble. My aunt and uncle on my mom's side have always held a disdain for my parents and have also offered to help me if my parents do anything to me, but I'm afraid that they won't support me anymore if I came out to them. I'm 17 and I'm so grateful for all my friends that try to be there and support me, but I don't know if I'll be able to hold out until I turn 18 or until graduation.
My parents have very high academic expectations for me because I'm in my school's gifted program that I feel like I have never been able to reach. Whenever I slip up or get less than amazing grades, they call me lazy, useless, ungrateful, and a brat because they only expect me to study and nothing else. Whenever I struggle with something, they brush me aside and tell me I should figure it out myself and I should already know how to do this because I'm supposed to be smart. They get mad at me for the slightest dip in my grades and because COVID-19 has been extremely stressful for me and has impacted my motivation, they decided to take away my phone and my access to our family computer, which are the only ways I could contact my most of my friends and people in marching band since my school laptop has most social media and messaging websites and apps blocked.
Besides verbally abusing me, my parents have hit me several times in the past. I've been slapped, scratched, and even suffocated several times, mostly by my dad. He's justified the hitting as a traditional way to discipline kids because we're Asian, and he also hits my 13 year old sister, who has a developmental disability. Someone actually noticed a large gash on my neck at the beginning of my sophomore year and reported it, which got CPS involved. However, the only thing that came from that was a recommendation to let me see a therapist, which I've since stopped seeing because of the pandemic.
I've suspected for a while that I may have an anxiety disorder or an attention-deficit disorder, and my therapist shared this sentiment, but my parents refused to believe anything was wrong with me except that I was just lazy and over-dramatic. They think that whenever I'm struggling with my mental health, I'm just looking for attention and acting up, which often prompts my dad to threaten to call the police on me, though he's never done so before. My parents are also very conservative and hold very transphobic and homophobic beliefs, and my dad threatened to kill me when I once "jokingly" came out to them in 7th grade. Because of this, I am extremely scared of coming out to them as a trans boy, as it might put not just me in danger, but also my boyfriend. Even without knowing that me and my boyfriend are gay, my mom especially holds disdain for my boyfriend because she believes that he could "corrupt" me, even though she's never met him.
I really don't know what to do at this point. I don't feel safe in this house and I fear not just for my own safety, but also for my sister and my boyfriend's. One of my friends along with my boyfriend have both offered to give me a place to stay if something happens and I don't have anywhere else, but my friend is only 16 and my boyfriend is about to turn 18. I don't want to get them in trouble. My aunt and uncle on my mom's side have always held a disdain for my parents and have also offered to help me if my parents do anything to me, but I'm afraid that they won't support me anymore if I came out to them. I'm 17 and I'm so grateful for all my friends that try to be there and support me, but I don't know if I'll be able to hold out until I turn 18 or until graduation.
you need permission from your parents to leave home. It is not illegal to runaway, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report with the police. This is usually done in an effort to try to return you home as the police are required to do so.
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