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  • 17 CALIFORNIA RUNAWAY

    I'm a 17 year old girl who lives in California. I turn 18 in January and I was wondering if I could leave home now.

    A couple of weeks ago, my parents had told me to leave. So they basically kicked me out of the house. This has happened numerous times before, but i have never left, figuring they were just angry. But I left this time. It took them 2 days to even try to look for me. And I was staying with a friend who wouldn't make me return home. My parents contacted the police as if i was a runaway/missing person. I was keeping in contact with them, letting them no i was safe. They eventually found where i was and forced me to come home.

    My question is, how long can you be gone to be considered a missing person. And can i leave home now without my parents consent and not get in trouble by the police.
    And if I will get in trouble. How can i give guardianship to someone else, like a friends parent rather then my own parents so i no longer have to live with them.

    I cant deal with the constant mental abuse that has been an ongoing occurence for years.

  • #2
    Re: 17 CALIFORNIA RUNAWAY

    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at this time for support. We appreciate your efforts and patience when dealing with your situation and imagine it is not easy for you to go through all this at once. It sounds like you are a bit of a way from 18 but it does not seem that far. It depends on how eager you are to leave and how you intend to cope if you stayed. It is not fair to you for your parents to tell you to leave. Have you thought about filing a locked our report when they ask you to leave? It can be done by calling the police. It is up to you if you want to look into the matter. There are times when parents may kick you out and still list you as a runaway. However, if you call and stay the course, at least it helps to let the authority know some of what is happening, so not to judge you for just acting out.

    It is good that you never left despite what has happened. How are you coping with all these things happening? It sounds like you have people who support you and want to protect you from what is happening. Can you rely more on these folks to talk to you and help you figure out other options? If you feel alone, please know that you are not alone. We want to be there for you wheneve you need us. You are welcome to call us anytime to vent or look for resources. What you said so far sounds like a lot to figure out on your own but you have shown to be someone who is mature and well intended.

    The issue of leaving and staying gone for a while is one that can only be defined by the laws of your state. Every state vary in runaway laws and how the authorities respond. A runaway is considered someone who refuses to return from a place they were sent to by their parents and also someone who leaves home without permission and stay out on an overnight. However, your parents reserve the right to file a report right away because the purpose of a report is to track you locallly or nationally and to keep your parents safe from charges of neglect. The police can ask for your parents to wait 24-48 hours or may not take a report if your parents know where you are. Sometimes they never come looking for you but every state, city and county is different. If you leave without your parent's consent you run the risk of your parents filing a report and the police can pick you up if found and take you home or juvenile detention. It depends on police discretion.

    If you are interesting in someone else getting guardianship, it is base solely on going to court to find your parents unfit as parents and to have someone advocate on your behalf. The other is filing a report with Child Protective Services to prove you are unsafe at home but that relies on evidence and witnesses to come forward on your behalf as well. However, your parents can fight it and choose not to react to what you want but cannot avoid turning up for a petition if served by a judge or an investigate by CPS. We hope some of what we stated is helpful and wish you the best. We are here for you 24 hours a day at 1800RUNAWAY. Please feel free to call us for more info and resources to local legal offices for more indepth ideas as we are not legal experts. Good luck.

    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Running away

      My friend wants to runaway & she's 17 1/2 & she's having a hard time at home I'm 24 & she says that even if I don't help her she still going to runaway & no one will know where she is... I'm worried I know I'm a responsible adult & I can help talk her into doing the right things (but running away) she really hates home & i would rather help her than have her out in the streets but I don't want to get in trouble for helping someone. What should I do please reply ASAP

      Comment


      • #4
        Running away

        Hi,

        Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.
        We are sorry to hear about the tough time your friend is having at home.
        Your concern for her is very touching your support may be more helpful than you might imagine.

        We understand that you would like to help her so if you think she would consider it please offer her our-
        24 hr 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) crisis line.

        She can speak to one of our liners about her situation and upon hearing her out perhaps we might offer her some information and or referrals from our national data base.
        It’s within your reason to be concerned about any legal ramifications you may face from any laws regarding aiding or harboring a runaway.

        We may be able to help her locate a safe place or runaway shelter in her city and state.
        We can discuss this option along with any others she may not have considered.
        While she may be unhappy at home it is most important that she does have a plan to be safe and how she will survive.

        How does that sound?

        Please inform her that she can also communicate with NRS via crisis email: [email protected] or
        Our website www.1800Runaway.org where she can also use our NRS live chat option.
        NRS live chat is available 7 days a week from 4:30pm until 11:30pm (CST).

        If you would like more information about our services please give us a call at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929)
        We thank you again for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.
        We hope your friend’s situation improves.
        Take Care,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Need To Speak To Someone !

          I'm a 17 yr. male living in Downtown Los Angeles. My 18th birthday is in mid-April. I really want/need to leave my house before my 18th birthday, but to my father that isn't an option. He will fight back & do as much as he can to make me stay in the house. It's very rare that i have a actual serious conversation with my parents. My father does more of the screaming yelling type of conversation, or the exact opposite all humorous and unrealistic. In the past, when I was younger he had marked me with a belt and I was taken to a foster home for 2 years. He hasn't beat me like that ever since , but we'll have a couple frontations that don't result so well. I've never ran away from home. He knows where I'm at every second of the day. He keeps constant track of my where a outs when he gives me the opportunity to go out. I have multiple reasons why I want to leave my house. I have 3 little brothers, 1 little sister, and a step mom all living in a 2 bedroom apartment. I have a room filled with all the children to the point where I never have privacy or time to concentrate. I would go out all the time if I had the chance too but that option isn't given easily. The privacy I usually get is in my bathroom when taking a shower. I'm a very active person & my personality seems to change from when I'm in my house & from when I'm at school.
          In school: I'm very active, energetic, and social. I enjoy playing basketball everyday if I can to real ease stress. I'm an out doors person.
          At home: I'm quiet, annoyed, frustrated, in-active & being lazy.
          I've written a lot, and basically I just don't want to ride out these 6 months, they are going extremely slow & I feel more problems boiling up as I write this. I won't have access to a phone, or any access to the outside world besides school, if he could keep from school he would take me out from there as well.
          I want to leave my house soon, before this month ends or early January but, I don't want to make the decision to leave & then be forced to return to my house resulting into my 6 month stay become even longer than I wanted it too. I want to leave my house knowing that I won't be forced back or have to confront him until I turn the age of 18. Please answer & any advice is great!!! Information is valuable at this point as well. I want to contact the police stations around my communities & see the result to my leave but I fear that these police departments won't give a direct straight answer to a minor. I have family I can stay with that have offered a place to stay now, and when I'm 18 as well. All my future goals and ambitions are all still the same. I'm going to graduate high school, I'm going to attend a college, where I have great interest in criminology and social work. I just need help. Please answer ASAP .
          Highly appreciated .

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Need To Speak To Someone !

            Hello,
            Thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’re going through an intense time (and have been for quite a while) and seeking some options. You’ve asked some really great questions and it seems like you’ve got some great support systems set in place, now it’s a matter of what you’re going to decide to do.

            The hard part is that almost everyone is going to give you a complicated answer because it’s all situational and case by case. But to address your first point, you’re right, leaving home before the age of 18 without permission will probably prompt your folks to file a runaway report on you with the police. That’s called a status offense and your status would merely be “runaway youth”. You aren’t a criminal with this report. It’s not even a misdemeanor. But if you’re picked up by the police they’ll just return you back home.

            The only legal ways to leave home is with permission from your guardians or with emancipation that usually takes 3-10 months to be processed. Is there a way to talk to one of those family members that is willing to have you and see if they can talk to your dad/family into letting you move out? Sometimes having an advocate speak on your behalf is a good way to talk to parents about alternative living situations. Would it help if we did that with you? If you called us we could help you by doing a conference call to one of your parents and explore what other options there are for you.

            If you’d like to explore what options, resources and advocates are near and available to you, we are here for you. Please call us at 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We’re anonymous, confidential and available 24/7. We’re here to listen, here to help.

            Best,
            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              17 turning 18 on September

              Can I leave my house on the day of my 18th birthday?

              Comment


              • #8
                re:17 turning 18 on September

                Hello,

                Thanks for reaching out. We are not legal experts, but we can speak generally to your situation. In general, 18 is the age of majority in the United States. This means that when you will be considered a full legal adult on the day of your 18th birthday, and you will no longer have a legal guardian. As an adult, you can decide where you want to live. Do you have a plan for a safe place to go when you turn 18? Moving out can be tough, and if you need help or somewhere to go, we are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. Please don't hesitate to call or chat! We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  Sister turns 18 end of January

                  Hi my sister is 17 and has put me my mom sisters and my daughter through alot this past year & 1/2. She smokes weed drinks does drugs has sex w older men and these past 2 days have been hell. Weve had to call the police on her twice 1 for vandalizing my car & 2 for trying to fight w my mom. She stayed out all night once again on saturday so sunday my mom wouldnt let her in the house. Thats when she decided to kick my car and create dents in it. Then this monday morning before school she comes back & broke the glass windowin the living room and was tussling w my mom to get in the house. Its beyond stressful so is there anyway legally she can be taken somewhere else because we tried lasting until Jan 30th but so much has happened and i fear for my life everyone safety my car everything & the police dont seem to understand that shes doesnt want to live here but since she does live here we cant keep her out. Is there anyway around this??! Please please please tell me we can do something. It shouldnt take for someone to die for the police to do something about her alot more than a citation should be done, please!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    re: Sister turns 18 end of January

                    Hey there,

                    Thank you for being able to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It seems like you and your family are having some difficult times with your sister at this point in your lives. We want you to know that we are here to listen and to help in the best way that we can.

                    From what you shared, it seems like you have tried plenty of things and are seeing if there is another way to potentially help. We want you to know that we are not legal experts, meaning that we are only able to speak in general terms about your situation. Here at NRS we are able to provide you with a resources to help your situation. There is a program named MINS and CHINS which assist parents with gaining control of their youth. If you are interested in this program, please feel free to give us a call and we will try and find a resource in your area.

                    We hope that we were able to help you think a little more about your options and brainstorm some more with you, if you feel like you would still need some more support or go through some more options, please feel free to reach out to us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we are here 24/7. We also have a live chat service which is available from 4:30 PM to 11:30 PM CST. We wish you the best of luck in whatever it is you decide to do and hope to hear from you soon.

                    Stay strong,

                    NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      2 weeks away from 18 HELP

                      Ever since i was young ive been in and out of counselors.. My mom always thought thats what i needed but it wasnt. My dad left me when i was a few months old with my mom so my mom got 2 jobs to support 3 kids. So i stayed and got raised by my aunt / god mother . basically for me ive been up and about in different house holds .. I suffered from depression since i was 9. I attemtped suicide twice and did self harm so much until the age 14 . im 17 now.. Honestly .. My mom has put up with my crap. (sorry but true) but she hasnt been the greatest mother. I feel like shes miserable. And i can not stand the fact that she takes out all her anger out on me. People even ask me how i can stand my own mother. She insults me , puts me down and doesnt give a flying ******** sometimes. She trys to play the "look what ive done for you" card like shes all inoccent. Like come on. She has this damn attitude no one will take away from her. My own older sister left at 17 and my mother didnt do half the ******** shes doing to me now. And my brother left as well around 19. We cant stand her! Honestly i hated living with her when i turned 15. I would get anxiety at school thinking that id have to go home to her and deal with all her bull********. Sometimes i feel its because of everything shes gone thru but thats no excuse to verbally abuse me and my little sister (shes 4). She ********ing verbally abuses me and she thinks its fine. She need counseling more than i do. Shes gone thru ********ed up ******** in her past but its not excuse to treat us how she does. She used to kick me out so much that the day i left for good for the night she called the cops and made a big deal about it. So after that i left whenever shed tell me to get out. Im not happy here. I want to leave right now.. My self esteem is so low. I cant even continue living here. I might leave and make sure shell never know where i am until im 18. My birthday is on jan 18. Only 14 days away and i cant stand being here. Please i need help. What are some rights i should know about.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        RE: 2 weeks away from 18 help

                        Hi There,

                        Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We are here to provide you support and help you in the best way possible.

                        It sounds like you have gone through a lot with your mom. We are sorry to hear that you and your younger sister are being verbally abused. You do not deserve to be treated like that at all. One option that is available to you is to report what is happening and filing an abuse report. We understand that you are close to being 18, but it may be useful to file because your sister is still going to be in the home. Child Help USA (1-800-422-4453) is a resource that can provide you more information about that process and can link you to your local Child protective Services (CPS). If this is something that you are not comfortable doing, we understand. If you wanted some support with the call you can always give us a call here and we can provide you further assistance.

                        It sounds like you have really thought about leaving and want to know your rights. We are not legal experts here but we can provide you with some general information. At 17 you can still be considered a minor. If this is the case, if you choose to leave, then your mother can file a runaway report. If a runaway report is filed there is a chance that you can be taken back home. As well as, if you are found staying with someone, they could possibly be charged with harboring a runaway. We noticed here that you said that you are going to be 18 in a few weeks. With that being said there is a possibility that a runaway report can still be made because you will be 17. It is up to the local police department to actively pursue the report if it is made.

                        You are so strong for dealing with everything that you have had to endure and seem to really be seeking some help with your situation. We are so glad that you contacted us. We really want to make sure that you are okay and safe. We really would love to talk with you further about your situation and help you develop a plan that is best fir for you. One of the best ways to do this is by contacting us via phone. We are here 24/7 and someone will be available to talk with you. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

                        Hope to hear from you soon,
                        NRS
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment

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