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I Really Need To Get Away But Am Very Young And Have Nowhere To Go.

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  • I Really Need To Get Away But Am Very Young And Have Nowhere To Go.



    Hi. I'm a 11 nearly 12 year old girl who desperately needs to get away from home. Before I really start I should add that although being young enough that I can't even have social media, I have luckily been blessed with being very mature. My home is getting way more toxic by the day. This will be a long message I have a lot of details to tell and trauma that is VERY important to this whole situation. So I only live with my mom. My half-sister (who lived with us because she has had some unfortunate things happen to her) made false accusations against my dad for something very serious ( that I won't mention since it's not important.) but my dad pleaded guilty to them because it just put an end to the whole thing. We then sent my half-sister to a different state to live with her aunt and cut off all contact with her. My mother has always been verbally and mentally abusive and my dad was very neglectful. Now my mom has taken on both roles. ( She's now neglectful and abusive.) I have to fend for myself for every meal and the last time my mom cooked a meal for me as before my dad wasn't here. If I don't get perfect grades or do EXACTLY what she wants I get yelled at and insulted and just completely berratted. I've struggled with severe anxiety my whole life. Both GAD and social anxiety. I suspect I have other undiagnosed mental illnesses such as depression and adhd. My mom refuses to let me get checked. I also have anorexia and bulimia which my mother does nothing about. I have struggled with self-harm since I was 7. I have attempted to attempt suicide once if that makes sense. I nearly did but got caught before I could actually attempt it. She has threatened to hit me on several occasions. Thankfully, she hasn't yet, but I'm very convinced she will soon. I'm very heavily bullied at school but both the school and my mother won't do a single thing. I'm bullied for being lesbian, although luckily my mother is not homophobic and we have very similar political views. Luckily I am doing online school so I don't have to do all that socializing stuff. But the pandemic has heightened my anxiety and I have other anxieties about online school. My dark thoughts are very quickly coming back and I really can't handle it. I have one friend but just a couple weeks ago she moved to Nebraska and we both have trouble keeping in touch so I haven't talked to her since she moved. I've thought about running away multiple times. I have a BIG interest in musical theatre which is the only thing keeping me here because I want to pursue it and there is no way for me to even try my dream career without suffering at least 6 more years of abuse and mental damage. The rest of my family is the same way as my mother so I can't live with them. I thought about calling cps but the cps in my area is absolutely atrocious and I refuse to have them in my life again. I can't handle much more but I don't know what to do. What do I do?

  • #2
    Hello,
    You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse which may be reportable against your parents. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often harder to provide evidence for compared to physical abuse which is often what CPS relies on when conducting an abuse investigation. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 or
    www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made. We understand you might not want to get CPS involved and going through Child Help might elicit more options for you.
    We want you to know that you are strong for having gone through so much already. It is perfectly okay to deviate from what others or the common population believe to be “normal”. You’re bravery and resilience is so admirable. You are so strong for having gone through so much without having the acceptance that you do deserve for just being you. Remember that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk more about what you are experiencing or get additional support we are here 24/7 at 1800-RUNAWAY or our live chat service. The GLBT National Hotline at 1888-843-4564 is another option to gain great support from those that are familiar with the issues and experiences of those that are also a part of the LGBTQ community. You can access their website link bellow to utilize all the other possibly useful resources they have to offer: http://www.glbthotline.org/.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).


    We hope this helps. Please reach out if we can offer any further support.
    Be safe,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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